Candle In The Wind

7 | The Gossip

Juliette
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Callum was absolutely serious about rebuilding my building. Hours later after saying goodbye at Blueberry Lane he messaged me two new sketches he drew up. The new version of the floor plans looked more official, though I still liked the original one better. I liked it so much I stuck it on my fridge over a christmas mug magnet.

Today was my day off work, and surprisingly I found some sort of courage or inspiration to even try to make something today.

I had lunch and I cleaned up, as much as I could anyways, my back has been killing me, I wasn't gonna miss sitting around driving all day anymore once my place opens, in a month.

Callum says it's possible and that's all I needed to hear.

I've dreamed of having my own pottery shop since I learned how to make my very first mug, which resembled a ball with a whole inside of it, it served me well so I wasn't complaining, from what I can remember I still had the mug with me — and I'd still have it now if it wasn't for what happened.

I tied my floral apron behind my back and I knew in just two months it would barely fit. I glanced down at my swollen belly and felt that same empty feeling I've always felt ever since I found out that I was pregnant.

It's not a secret that this is not how I imagine my first pregnancy.

Single, struggling and the baby isn't even mine, well scientifically and biologically yes, but besides those two factors the baby wasn't mine. The very first person that's been keeping me company since shit hit the fan.

Maybe this is for the best.

Some people aren't meant to be parents, even if the world works out the odds for them and they still have kids, there's a consequence.

A lesson that is taught to them through the child, or a lesson that is unfairly taught to the child.

Who knows? Maybe this is how it's supposed to work out.

I sat down on my stool and I swear I heard a bone pop.

The baby was really spiteful during my second trimester, I had to pee almost every thirty minutes because it felt like he was sitting directly on my bladder but I guess now, he's messing up my back. The weight of this pregnancy falls on my lower back.

I groaned as I got comfortable and started playing with the clay on the wheel before grabbing my water to get the clay wet enough to mold.

I was using the same mold of clay I've been using to work through my frustration, well, it started out as making myself a push present,  I wanted to make myself a teapot, I wanted to paint it, and decorate it but I haven't been able to get the shape of the handle right.

I was struggling with the easiest part of it and that frustrated me.

Everytime.

So in the end I always end up destroying the teapot.

The clay was getting tired of me and I was getting tired of the clay. The compromise was the fact that today I was motivated to make anything but the teapot.

As I started playing with the clay my phone vibrated, I dug the pocket of my apron and pulled out my phone. The screen immediately lit up.

Val: I'm outside, open the door.

My lips pulled together partially disappointed in me for being responsible enough to lock the door. At this moment, if I was irresponsible, I would've been able to tell him to just come in because the door is unlocked and I'd save myself the trip of getting up after finally settling on the stool.