I find myself copying others. Mimicking their style, way of speaking and sometimes even their handwriting. This has been happening for a while, actually so long that I even forget that I'm doing it; but only recently have i realised why. I'm missing excitement. When I was younger, my first couple years of secondary school, I thought that what needed changing, was my popularity. But now that has changed and I'm all 'in with the crowd'. I even have 'that guy' as my boyfriend... well.
Okay, this is a secret... I don't like him, well like like him. He irritates me. So recently, I've been trying to get him to break up with me so I'm not the bad guy; but obviously by doing this, I am the bad guy. Or girl. Don't get me wrong, I did try to break up with him but.. i chickened out. I just REALLY don't want him to hate me. I mean, we were best friends before we got together. And he has done some horrible things in the past. Unforgiveable things to most people but I am all about forgive and forget. Not really by choice though, I can't really help it. I forgive anyone if they ask me to..
But back to my 'situation'. After the awful attempt at a break up, I realised that he really does like me now (which was a shock, believe me). So then I resorted to ignoring him and being distant, praying that he will give up. He really was never one to fight, well I was clinging on to that at least. But it has been about two months since i have decided this and he is still there. Everywhere I go.
Also, maybe it's my gushy, girly, romantic side coming out. Or maybe it's all these stories I'm reading on Wattpad, but i believe that I will find that excitement that my life has been missing in a boy. And with the end of school and the start of college (with all that fresh new meat) approaching, not to mention the long summer holiday, I really want to be able to have new crazy relationship this year.
So what I guess I'm asking you to do, is help. I need opinions. I need past experiences. I need help. Comment, please.
(If I remember anything worth adding I will post it, and I will continue to post any progress.)
xoxo
