𝑴𝒊𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒍𝒆 𝑨𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒆𝒓 . alex turner

The Dream Synopsis

Jennie's POV

───

For weeks now I've been trying to reach out to Alex, but it's as though he's wiped off the face of the planet. The few texts I plucked up the courage to send, have gone unanswered, and the silence is sporadically chipping away at my confidence. Daily, I wake up hoping that today will be the day he'll reply, but again, nothing. Despite Maggie's pitiful gaslighting, I seriously doubt the difference in time zones has anything to do with his lack of response. Though disappointment and regret gnaw at my conscience, I carry on nonetheless, going through the motions; Wake up, eat, work, study, stare at my phone expectantly, eat some more, go to sleep...

When the pale light of dawn creeps through my apartment's flimsy blinds, the horizon filtering into my dark space, I reluctantly rise and get ready to drive to work. My grip tightens on the wheel with every passing mile. Once again, my thoughts coil around the same tangled threads of frustration and longing, tensing like a noose. The silence in the car is unbearable, a breeding ground for memories I'd rather not revisit. Desperate to break the loop of self-pity, I reach for the radio, hoping for something, anything, to fill the void in my head and heart.

The moment I switch it on, music erupts from the speakers, an assault of noise so jarring it makes me wince. I scramble to turn it down, fumbling with the knob, and the sudden shock makes my chest clench. With the volume lowered to a more tolerable hum, I settle back into the leather seat and listen as unfamiliar songs drift by, one after another. Their lyrics blur together, each as shallow and repetitive as the last. I scoff under my breath, annoyed by how out of sync they are with the storm brewing within me. Not a single note fits my mood, and yet, I let them play, because silence, right now, would be far worse.

Though the constant noise soon becomes grating, and with an irked grumble, I flick through some more stations for the right sound. Suddenly, a familiar voice breaks through the static —his voice. My heart drops, missing several beats. Completely dumbfounded, I turn the dash's knob, anxiously increasing the volume. It's something I've never heard before —something new— and as the lyrics unfold, it doesn't take long to realize they're about me. 

Alex wrote a song about me... 

Some people might rejoice, or freak out in such a circumstance. However, I don't feel a damn thing. I'm numb as he sings about our moments, our laughter, my abnormalities—details only he would know. Each refrain cuts through my confusion, igniting a realization. Because of what I've been through, I've been trying to ignore such emotions. Or maybe I've been dismissing them because it's just too soon to feel this way. 

Too soon to love him...

I pull over, spinning the wheel like I've been possessed, practically parking on the curb. My shaking hands grip the helm, knuckles turning white. I wheeze a coarse exhale, scarcely able to inhale, feeling far too unhinged. 

Releasing the wheel, I fumble for my phone, desperate to talk to someone, anyone. I rather frantically tap through my contacts till I find Maggie. She picks up on the second ring.

"Maggie?" There's a pause before she answers, her voice steady, though there's a twinge of worry as she's immediately picked up on the nerves reverberating in my voice. "Jen? What's up?"

For a lengthy beat, I just heave into the speaker, trying to formulate a sentence that encapsulates everything I'm thinking, feeling, and experiencing, as every one of my senses heightens with a thrill and anxiety. 

"There's a song on the radio —about me, I think," I emit in a flurry, words jumbling together in an inelegant manner.

"Uh...okay?" Maggie's voice hitches in bewilderment. "Do I even have to ask who's singing?"

"Alex. Alex," I promptly repeat in a haze.

There's another long pause before a scream bursts from the other end of the line. I flinch, pulling the phone further from my ear. Maggie starts screaming several profanities, and I decidedly let her cool down before muttering, "I know." I glance at my rearview mirror, noting how pale my face is, riddled with horror, flushed with embarrassment, and pained by sheer heartbreak. 

There's another prolonged silence before Maggie adds to my panic. "It's a whole fucking album," Maggie murmurs, her voice rising slightly in shock, as she's clearly researching on her end.

"What?" I question airily.

"He released a whole fucking album, and my bet is that you're the main attraction," Maggie utters, almost breathless. 

'You've gotta be kidding.'

"This is romantic," Maggie states monotonously as if she's divulging that to quell her own psyche. 

"Okay," I reply with a similar note of cluelessness.

"You need to go to him," Maggie blurts and my stomach flips.

"No way, he's not even answering my messages. Why the fuck would I fly to London," I protest, flailing my spare arm wildly.

"Men don't write songs, let alone albums, about people they aren't in love with," she retorts. I take a sharp breath, thrown off by the word 'love.'

And so, for the next half-hour, Maggie starts brainstorming and investigating Alex's current location, while I absentmindedly respond with a few hums here and there, too lost in my mind to offer my full attention. Self-doubt clouds my judgement, but I keep my trepidations at bay as Maggie reveals how I'll make a romantic gesture, that definitely borders stalking. 

"I'm going to London," I mutter matter-of-factly as the actualization dawns on me, and suddenly, my voice no longer sounds like mine.

"We're going to London," Maggie chimes in, adding herself to the notion, discernably pleased.

After coming to terms with our absurd whim, Maggie quickly booked two tickets, and within hours, we were at the airport boarding a plane bound for London. 

As the plane takes off, I replay his lyrics in my mind, forcing myself to believe they're a promise —and that promise helps stifle my increasing anxiety. I don't know what awaits me in London, but I know I have to find him. I have to tell him how his song found me, that his words have mended my damaged heart, and that I'm finally ready to love him... If he'll have me.