Practice

⚠️ Cat Scratches

TW: self harm, mentions of blood, references to eating disorders, suicidal ideation (Blood loss, Hanging, OD)

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The only thing beneficial about these cuts is that they look like cat scratches.

Skateboard isn't worried, they see these all the time and not question a thing. He can always excuse them for cuts and scrapes he's got from falling over on the ground, or accidental cuts he's gotten from bushes and trees and twigs. Or, of course, cat scratches, or any stray animal out there. Everyone knows he loves animals.

He sighs as he puts away his hoodie, letting go of the broken zipper, the sharp end finally away from his arm. These aren't serious in any sense of the word. They're not deep, they're scratches. They only broke skin, they're barely even bleeding! It stings just enough to hurt. They'll heal.

He feels like a fraud.

Self harm is self harm, he knows that. No matter how severe, if you're hurting yourself, then you're hurting yourself. But is this really comparable to what people do to themselves out there? He knows there are people who cuts as deep as muscle, slicing through their vein to make sure their blood pours out, big and deep enough to need stitches. Or some people starve themselves until their ribs and spine are visible, or eat until they can't breathe at all. These are way worse than what he's doing. Sure he's hurting himself, but he'll heal.

He won't need to go to the hospital. He won't need stitches, or diets, or tubes shoved into his body. Nobody's going to find him laying on the floor bleeding out with his wrists open. Or his neck open. Or hanging from the ceiling on a rope. Or hanging from a window. Nobody's going to see him with pills down his throat and dissolving in his stomach. He feels like a poser. Just another person trying to get attention, too pussy to actually do anything dangerous.

He knows this mindset is stupid. He's just as deserving of help as anybody else, but should he really be a priority?

Whatever.

He'll try razors again tomorrow. He needs to eat his lunch.