Broken Shards of Illusions

Disclaimer

This is a work of fiction. All places, businesses, characters, names, things, events, titles, and situations that are mentioned in this story are only fictional or part of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual events locales or persons that are mentioned in this story is entirely coincidental.

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Broken Shards of Illusions

We've been together for almost two years... we were together when we were starting our college years, and now...

This is me, looking so weak and dazed. The surrealness of the confession from his mouth never left my sanity. I am aware of the imperfections of our relationship, the heartaches of our war every night, and the undoubtful fact that we are different... but... to hear him utter those words... haunts me every second that moment passes through my head.

The man that could never, ever want to be away from me. The man that was drawn by my giggles and smile. The man who looked so lonely when I was not near, and he who comforted me from all the noise bothering my peace... and he who held my hand whenever we passed the road to keep me unharmed.

The man who became my world, he who loves me so dearly, that I believe it was more than I, myself, could have shared with him.

He looked me in the eye, almost not sure whether to say it or not, "I don't love you anymore," my heart sank at that moment, tears brimming to fall. "Patagal ng patagal, lalong nawawala."

I wept immediately, not knowing what to do. My mind went blank, utterly clueless of what would this come out of... my tears were falling without the need of my will. The little sound I made hurt my own heart, I was in complete disdain, looking for answers to what have I done so wrong and cruel that he has the strength to tell me those words.

He held me in his arms, looking at me as if he was expecting this. I held back in his arms and wept weakly, "Why?" I whispered helplessly, in my most vulnerable state. 

My mind ran back to what had happened. For the past couple of months, we fought countless times with distance between us. I remember the night I held my phone near my ears, crying how come he has yet to know how to make me calm when I needed him to be the one to understand me? He only worried about what I was saying, but not what I meant. 

He was struggling to understand my pain. I do not require him to fix me, but I do need someone who could help me anchor my thoughts. I was drowning with insecurities and overwhelming disappointments toward myself. I was in chaos, and he knew my struggles as well. 

So, why, baby? Had I been too difficult and harsh? Did I ruin us beyond repair that you believe not loving me was enough to let go?

I have so many questions in my head, but it failed to leave my lips. I only held tightly to him. I don't want to let go. There is this nagging feeling that once this conversation ends, and my cries subside... there will be no, him, in my life.