RadioApple Oneshots

Oopsies

Description: After an unfortunate night of drinking and poor decisions, Lucifer finds himself pregnant with the Radio Demon's child.

A/N: It's Mpreg because I HAVE NO SOUL
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Lucifer fussed over his suit in the mirror, self conscious of how it fit his slender frame. It was the two year anniversary of the Hotel's Grand reopening (and the anniversary of the defeat of the exorcists), and Charlie was having a big party at the hotel to celebrate.

In the last two years, they had redeemed many souls, including Cherri Bomb, who was reunited in heaven with Sir Pentious. Emily kept in touch with Charlie often, letting her know how the redeemed souls were doing up there.

Finally, Lucifer gave up on adjusting his suit and made his way downstairs. When he walked into the main room, he saw it decked out in balloons and other decorations. There were overlords, sinners, and even hellborn alike, alongside some members of Hell's royalty like Prince Stolas, Asmodeus, and Beelzebub. Lucifer hadn't seen the sins in so long, he definitely had to go catch up with them before the night ended.

"Bee, how's it going?" Lucifer said, greeting his sin sister with a bright smile. The winged hellhound responded by throwing her arms around him with a delighted squeal and fluttering up a good three feet in the air before setting him back down.

"LuLu!" She exclaimed happily, clearly elated to see her sin brother. "Fuck, where you been, you little bitch?! I missed you!"

"I'm sorry, I've just been busy is all. I promise I'll come to your next party though!" Lucifer says.

"You better, short stack!" Beelzebub says, elbowing him playfully. "Oh, there's Loona! I gotta go, see you at the next party, Lulu!"

Lucifer watched as Bee buzzed off, and then he heard a crackle of static beside him. He rolled his eyes in exhaustion, not now Al...

"Who's that... energetic young lady?" Alastor asks, his head tilted slightly to one side.

"Oh, that's Beelzebub. She's the sin of gluttony." Lucifer explains.

"I must say that's not what I pictured when I learned about Beelzebub in Sunday school." Alastor says.

"Bee has a high metabolism. She's never gained an ounce her entire existence, even before we fell."

"Fell?" Alastor cocked his head, looking at Lucifer quizzically. "She was an angel?"

"A virtue, yeah. There were seven of us, I was the only virtue that was an archangel, and after we all fell, our father just... replaced us, with virtues that couldn't choose to defy him." Lucifer explained, tightening his grasp on his cane. "Ah, it's in the past now. Why dwell on it, right?"

Alastor could tell that Lucifer still had deep emotional wounds from his fall, from losing his place in the clouds and being thrown down here with the others. But he didn't utter another word about it.

"I'm gonna get a drink, you want anything?" Lucifer says, awkwardly changing the subject.

"Yes, please." Alastor said, feeling incredibly awkward. He had never been good with this sort of thing, he believed Rosie referred to it as being an 'ace in the hole' once or twice.

The pair took a seat at the bar, Alastor ordered a simple scotch, while Lucifer got pure absinthe.

"You sure you can handle that stuff, your highness?" Husk asks, knowing for a fact that absinthe was no joke.

"I'm the devil, Husk. Of course I can handle it." Lucifer says. He took a sip and nearly choked on how strong it was. "I'm fine. Just haven't had anything this strong in a while."