Sleep
"So I've been told that you're checked in for insomnia." My hands rest awkwardly on the wooden desk in front of me, resisting the urge to fidget with anything in a three-mile radius.
"That's correct," I reply coolly. I feel as though I'm a robot; I give all of the same responses, and I get all of the same results. That's basically what a hospital is, anyways; many systematic robots and functions that attempt to postpone the inevitability of death.
Christ.
"And how have we come to this conclusion?" The nurse has one of those apple-pie, sugar-sweet voices, but I see right through her simple-minded skull. Past the clichés and obscure 80s references I don't remotely understand, it boils down to this: I'm not normal. Until the doctors fix me, she has to stay with me, giving me copious doses of plastic kindness, until I'm all better. Which is basically what everyone thinks, but still.
"I kind of figured it out myself when I stopped sleeping." Sarcasm drips through my voice, but she doesn't seem to notice.
"Why did you stop sleeping?" She replies with an oblivious smile.
"Well, there are 24 hours in a day..." Assuming that she knows basic math and concept of time, I continue. "But we only use about half. I personally feel like I should live life to the fullest." I lean back in the chair, grinning in satisfaction. Another decoy, another dollar.
"How long have you gone without a proper night's sleep?" She replies with a sugar-sweet, bright-white smile. Again. I want to vomit.
"About...96 hours? But there's been some half-hour naps in between. Now if you excuse me, I'm off to find some chamomile."
Her confused expression is oddly satisfying. I stand from the rickety chair, strange squeaking noises sounding from the cushion. My hand pauses at the doorframe, almost in an ironic salute to the dumbfounded nurse, before trailing out the door.
I love the word dumbfounded. I love it even more when I make people feel dumbfounded.
I'm not a psychotic human who only wants to watch the world burn. Well, I don't think I am. I just feel like sometimes the world is so....flat. And every once in a while, there's got to be that one person who just puffs it up a little bit. Someone who just makes life a little more...three-dimensional.
And, being the selfless, amazing, courageous human being I am, I have taken the liberty to hold that bearing upon myself.
At least, that's what I tell the others.
