Exchange student - one year ᵗᵃᵉᵏᵒᵒᵏ

40

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Drenched in sweat, Taehyung woke up and sat bolt upright in bed, his eyes wide open and his gaze fixed on the distance. His breathing was hectic and heavy, almost intermittent, as if he was gasping for air. A cold shiver ran down his spine as he felt his entire body out of reflex, searching for the aching spots he had felt so clearly in his dream. But apart from a slight goose bump, there was nothing there. Just his shoulder, the only place that hurt when he touched it. He knew that it was only phantom pain, because the wound had already healed years ago, but his body saw it differently at that moment.

His heart raced as if it wanted to leap out of his chest and he felt the panic rising in him, not yet fully understanding that it was just a dream - a dream that reflected his life so far.He was so lost in his stupor that he didn't even notice when Jungkook woke up next to him and carefully placed his hand on Taehyung's back. Startled, the dark-haired man flinched and even moved a little to the side as if he was afraid of something. His breathing was still heavy as he looked into the blond's worried face and slowly realized where he was.

Jungkook looked at him with concern and carefully lifted his hand to place it on Taehyung's cheek. "Are you alright?" he asked softly, but when he saw the older man flinch under his touch, he immediately pulled his hand back and looked at him worriedly. Even though Taehyung now understood where he was and who was sitting in front of him, his body flinched under the blond's touch, afraid that something less gentle might follow."What's wrong?" Jungkook asked again as his gaze slid over Taehyung's face, which was covered in beads of sweat and illuminated by the early rays of sunlight through the window. The look on Taehyung's face also worried Jungkook greatly, a mixture of emptiness, fear and a hint of pain. Flinching under his touch also worried him.

The dark-haired man gritted his teeth, his eyebrows furrowed painfully and his skin turned pale as he clawed his hand convulsively into his shoulder. The pain that ran through him was almost unbearable and left him in agony. His heart pounded so loudly in his chest that he could barely understand what Jungkook was asking him. He saw the worried look in Jungkook's eyes as they widened and filled with concern, but he couldn't understand the words that passed his lips - nothing at all, except for the frantic, wild beating of his heart that made him deaf to his surroundings.
With a quick, almost panicked movement, Taehyung stood up from the bed, his legs trembling slightly from the exertion and pain. He walked into the bathroom with hurried steps and his breathing became faster, shallower. He tore his top off his body and threw it carelessly onto the cold, tiled floor. He stood directly in front of the large mirror by the washbasin. His hands clawed at the edge, his knuckles white with exertion. His gaze was fixed on his shoulder, where four bullet holes were visible. He stared at the scars through the mirror, desperately trying to convince his mind and body that there was nothing there that could cause pain.

Jungkook, who was naturally very worried about his friend, followed him into the bathroom, his steps quiet, careful. He stopped some distance away, his eyes fixed on Taehyung, who was staring into the mirror with his face contorted in pain while his lips were bloody from the bite he applied to them. The blond didn't quite understand what was going on, but he could feel the heavy, oppressive atmosphere in the room.Slowly, the blond stepped closer and his hands were raised as if to show that he was not a threat. But he was stopped by Taehyung's outstretched hand signaling a clear 'stop' and he could hear his voice quivering. "Stay there," Taehyung pressed out under shortness of breath that almost bordered on hyperventilation. Jungkook stopped abruptly, his hands lowering, gripping the hem of his top because he needed somewhere to hold on to.

His gaze was fixed on his exchange partner, whose body was trembling with pain and memory, and he felt his own fear and concern for the older man take hold of him, almost suffocating him. "Taehyung, what happened?" the younger man asked in a trembling voice, his eyes filling with tears as he couldn't bear the sight Taehyung was giving off and he felt helpless.Taehyung lowered his trembling hand again, only to carefully place his fingertips on the source of the pain - his shoulder. He had dealt with phantom pains before, but this one was different, more intense and penetrated his body with an unbearable intensity. He bit his lower lip so hard that he tasted the metallic taste of his own blood slowly creeping down the corner of his mouth.

Jungkook, who was watching his friend's agony from a safe distance, could bear it no longer. With a jerky step, he approached him and stood behind him. He carefully put his arms around Taehyung's waist and pulled him close. Jungkook's eyes disappeared behind narrowed lids as a single tear, full of compassion and helplessness, found its way down his tender cheek and hit Taehyung's shoulder.He hugged the older man tightly, whispering soothing words in his ear: "It's all right, I'm with you." The fact that Taehyung was drenched in sweat and trying to free himself from his grip didn't matter to the blond at that moment. He simply didn't know how else he could help him.
The dark-haired man finally stopped resisting the comforting touch and his dull gaze found its way to the mirror in front of them once more. He concentrated on Jungkook's loving touch, the warmth radiating from his body, and slowly the pain that had numbed him until now began to fade. His breathing, which had previously been hectic and irregular, and his racing heart gradually calmed down. With a pained expression on his face, he ran his now calmer hand through his sweat-soaked hair and brushed it to one side. His dream had only one meaning: it was a warning to him. His father would find out. He would find out that his own son had become involved with another man, something that had been painfully drilled into him from an early age never to do. The dream showed him all too clearly what would await him when he returned - a life of pain, denial and constant fear of his father.

The dark-haired man closed his eyes and breathed out shakily again and again. His chest rose and fell in time with his racing heartbeat, which echoed in his ears like a wild drumming. He tried desperately to suppress the pain that threatened to overwhelm him like a huge wave. It felt like an eternity before the pain finally subsided and, above all, his head returned to reality and he understood that his father was nowhere near him."Jungkook," Taehyung began quietly and slowly opened his eyes. "Mh?" Jungkook asked just as quietly and also slowly opened his eyes. "You should go out, I need to take a shower," the older man mumbled, clutching the sink again to hold himself up. His fingers were white with tension and you could clearly see how much he had to pull himself together to keep from breaking in front of the blondes. Because he couldn't show weakness in front of anyone. Instead of letting go, the blond pressed himself even tighter against the older man and shook his head. "You're not well, I'm staying," he replied softly and closed his eyes again. His cheek rested on Taehyung's shoulder blade and you could clearly see how worried he was about the other.

Taehyung slowly turned around in Jungkook's arms and looked at him. He put his hands on his cheeks and lifted his head so he could look at him. "It's okay, please go outside," he repeated, stroking his thumbs over Jungkook's cheeks, which were glistening with tears. "You're such a crybaby," he mumbled, more to himself than at the blond, smiling slightly. His smile was weak, but it was a smile, and you could clearly see how hard he was trying to be strong. He leaned down briefly to the blond and gave him a breathy kiss. Then he grabbed him by the shoulders and gently but firmly pushed him out of the door. "I'll be right there," he said and closed the door carefully in Jungkook's face, as if he was trying to keep the pain and reality outside, at least for a while.

With a deep sigh that expressed all his despair and hopelessness, Taehyung slowly and laboriously dragged himself towards the shower. His footsteps echoed softly on the cold tiles as he turned the shower knob and set the water to a comfortable temperature. The rest of his clothes slowly slid off his exhausted body and landed as a hopeless, crumpled heap on the floor.Taehyung just stood there for a moment, under the warm stream of water that flowed over his skin and began to loosen his tense, aching muscles. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the soothing warmth, which gave him a little comfort and security.

But before long, he slid down the smooth, cool tiles and hid his face behind his hands. He didn't cry, but his eyes shone with pent-up, unshed tears and his shoulders shrugged in a desperate, helpless attempt to suppress and hide his emotions.His dream, which still held him captive and would not let him go, was so realistic, so tangible and real that he could not simply ignore or forget it. Inevitably, he began to think of his mother, who had to endure the same fate as him. It was usually Taehyung who intercepted and took his father's outbursts of anger, even though he himself was not to blame and was innocent. He did it solely to spare his mother the pain and suffering that he himself knew only too well and which haunted him every day.

His mother was the only reason why he had embarked on this American adventure. His father had promised him not to hurt his mother and to leave her alone if he went to America and studied here. He didn't know why his father had sent him away, but he only had this man's promise in the back of his mind. And after all, there was nothing wrong with a year without violence.Taehyung knew it was foolish and naive to trust this man and believe that he would keep his promises. But his mother, looking at him with pleading, desperate eyes and assuring him that it was the only chance they had, was the reason why he finally agreed and went to America. He had to get in touch with her, absolutely and immediately. He needed to know if she was safe and if she wasn't suffering from his father's brutality and violence.His dream reminded him all too painfully and clearly of the cruel, inhuman life he had forgotten for a short time.

Jungkook stood there as if he was frozen to stone, his hand on the cool, smooth surface of the door. His eyes were fixed on the wood as if he could read an answer in it, an explanation for what had just happened. He couldn't just walk away and leave Taehyung alone, not in this state of despair, even if he didn't know the reasons why. He'd seen how hard Taehyung fought to hide his emotions, how his shoulders shrugged and his breathing was erratic. Jungkook's own tears continued to roll down his cheeks, but slowly his sadness and heartache turned into a deep, burning concern for the older man. He sighed softly, a sound heavy with the weight of his emotions, and rested his forehead against the door. He knew the older man was just trying to protect him by sending him out of the bathroom, but he was afraid of Taehyung facing his own demons alone. But Jungkook wanted to be there for him, no matter what state he was in, no matter how vulnerable and broken he was.
The sound of the shower water splashing inexorably on the tiles made his heart beat faster. He bit his lips as if he could hold back his worries and wiped the tears from his face. The sight of Taehyung hurt him deeply and he couldn't help it: he had to go to him, take him in his arms and show him that he wasn't alone. The door opened with a soft creak and Jungkook slipped into the bathroom, which was filled with steam from the shower. He slowly walked towards the shower and as he turned the corner, he saw Taehyung sitting on the floor, his face hidden behind his hands. The sight shattered Jungkook's heart into a thousand pieces. Taehyung, who always seemed so strong and aloof, as if he was emotionally cold, was now sitting there, fragile and vulnerable. Something must have happened, something that had hurt him so much that he hid behind a mask of indifference. But now? Something was breaking the older man and Jungkook had to know what it was.
Without giving it much thought, Jungkook stood in the shower with the older man in his clothes. He knelt down and simply hugged him and pulled him close. Taehyung opened his eyes in surprise and looked at him, but he didn't say anything, he just snuggled up to him and let him hold him.

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