Secretly Alive

~6~

Her pov

I was staring at myself in the rear view mirror above my head, unable to get my legs to move. I had parked my car near the building's entrance, and I could see from where I was the well-dressed gatekeeper standing in front of the doors.

My legs were shaking, but I would never admit to myself that I was afraid. I have a plan, and I'm obligated to follow it.

I opened the door and stepped outside, my strappy heels touching the ground underneath, which honestly felt like it was trembling. I pulled down my black Jean skirt and smoothed out my dark grey bodysuit. I walked to the big glass door, and I let the man open it for me. This is gonna be fun.

I got in the elevator and pressed the number 16 on the board. He already gave me the number of his floor and his apartment earlier when we talked on the phone. The doors opened, and I walked in the hallway till I saw 162, his apartment, and I rang the bell.

"Hey, come in gorgeous." He said without even looking at me. Umm...rude?

"Hello, detective, nice place. I doubt that your salary can cover the rent for this place, I knew you weren't exactly a saint." I said laughing, examining his living room.

It was massive. The black leather couch in the middle is for sure five times my size, and the coffee table in front of it was made from glass. A big TV hung on the wall, as well as some small paintings. On the right sight of the apartment was the kitchen. A black marble island and some black cabinets in its perimeter.

"Oh hush! It's not even that big, " He said while grabbing a bottle of wine out of the fridge.

"Yeah, cut the bullshit or I'm leaving." As I said that, my stomach made a weird sound, showing him how hungry I was... embarrassing.

"Sit, I've already ordered Chinese food. Did you eat something today, or were you that excited for tonight?" He asked while sitting on the couch across me, and I felt my cheeks warming.

"Honestly, all i had today was a cup of coffee and a bagel." I said, avoiding his gaze.

He was wearing a black t-shirt that showed how ripped he is and a black pair of trousers. Even if I wanted to, which I did, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He wasn't that little boy I remembered. Now he was a grown 27 year old man who had a job, a life. A life I was about to ruin.

His pov

I sat across her and grabbed two paper boxes of noodles, handing one to her.

She looked stunning tonight. For me, she always looked pretty. Every time I look at her, i get mesmerized by her beauty. Her dark brown, long, wavy hair fell softly on her shoulders. Some strands falling at her face, making her look younger than she is. She had that green eyes that made her stand out in every place she was.

I grabbed my chopsticks and started picking on my noodles. I felt nervous. I don't know if her being a suspect of the biggest case of the year made me feel uncomfortable or the fact she was wearing that goddam skirt.

I didn't mention the incident that happened on the station a few days ago. There was no need. I interrogated her friend Stacey, and she told me the same shitty story Casie did. I couldn't do anything more about it. It was just a God damn lipstick, not a knife or some blood stain on her shirt. It's just a lipstick.

Her Pov

I started eating my noodles in silence while still peaking around the room. Look at him build his life. He did a pretty good job, not gonna lie, but damn, it hurts. How can he let go of the past so easily? Was it that easy dropping everything behind and starting a brand new life?

He fucked everything up. He is the main reason of how fucked up my life is, it isn't fair. I had to make sure he gets a taste of his own poison.

"So.." I finally said while rolling the noodles on my chopsticks. " on our first date you promised me that if there was a second one you would tell me why you are single. Here we are now on our second date, so tell me."

"Okay, fair enough... I actually have never dated someone. When I was young, about 16 years old, I lost someone that i loved deeply. We basically grew up together, she lost her parents when she was 5 and my step father adopted her. Well I can't say he was exactly a father to me or her, but he adopted me when my own parents died too. He didn't adopt us to become a lovely family but..whatever. Anyway, I loved her with all my heart, at first I thought I loved her as a sister, but as we both grew up, I realized that wasn't the case. She was my first kiss and I was hers, but she died. And after her, I couldn't love anyone else."

He talked about me like I was everything to him. And the worst part is that I felt sorry for him. His eyes were locked to the floor and he looked sad. For the first time in my life I saw him sad. He always tried to make me laugh while I was crying in his arms because I was missing my parents or when I was feeling guilty about our missions. I kissed him before our last mission,the night he left me.

"How did she die?" I asked, wanting to know what would he say. I could feel the anger inside of me slowly rising.

"She was trapped in a fire." He said letting his gaze fall on me and I could feel my breath stuck on my throat.

And... I kissed him. I don't know why, but I felt vulnerable, maybe a little guilty too. He immediately kissed me back, cupping my face with his hands. God, i missed him. He nibbed my bottom lip and I let out a soft moan. His lips felt better than I remembered and as he deepened the kiss, my fingers went through his hair. I felt his hands wonder down my torso and then my upper thighs. He pulled me on top of him, my legs around his waist while I was pressing my chest against his.

Suddenly, I realized what I was doing. No, this is not right. I have a plan and it's not gonna work if I feel this way around him. That was a stupid move. I shouldn't feel sorry for him! God! I shouldn't feel anything for him!

I broke the kiss, staring into his brown eyes, losing myself in them.

"Are you telling this story to every girl you're trying to get in your bed?" I said, trying to mask my feelings.

"No Cassie, I've never said this story to anyone before. And believe me I don't need to tell any stories to girls so I can fuck them. They simply fall for my charm." He answered with a grin on his face. He knew he was hot and he owned it.

"Yeah no shit Aidan, I've seen you and your charm" I rolled my eyes slowly getting off of him.

He sat there,his hands on top of his thighs staring at me like I said something crazy. "What?" I looked down at him raising my eyebrows in confusion.

I saw his lips turn into a soft smile " This is the first time you call me by my first name" He leaned back still staring at me " Looks good on your lips Cassie"

I let out a soft sigh while shaking my head, I grabbed my purse and pulled slightly down my skirt. "Maybe, but I would never scream it" I smiled evily.

He chuckled and placed his hand behind his neck while staring at me. " Stay tonight and we will see if you're screaming it or moaning it"

I rolled my eyes and walked towards the elevator. "Goodnight, DETECTIVE" I said while the doors closed in front of me. I took a deep breath finally relaxing. I was so tensed. I kissed him! For fuck's sake! What was wrong with me? This fucks up everything now! God I'm so tired of this.