Grave (Ashes sequel) #2|18+ (LL Series) ✓

93~ The wait ends

Ardhansh's POV
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Fucking ten days, without her were hell, How much someone can hate themselves the way I hate myself for commiting those sins.

And Yet I am committing those sins again and again, What the fuck I am doing? Getting intimate with her in anger and frustration, when she isn't even in proper mind to understand the situation.

But I fucking hate her for her cowardness, I know I shouldn't, when it's fucking all my fault, that she almost tried to consume those sleeping pills.

How could someone be so fucking naive and stupid, How will she survive in this world with such a mindset? She makes me hate myself more and more for making me understand how fragile she is.

I wonder if she truly is Trivedi or not, She fucking doesn't deserve to get pissed between animals like us.

My lips crawled on her neck as I tied the string of her dress and a soft moan escaped her lips, causing me to breath heavily.

The feeling of getting deep within her was so surreal and I wished I could stay like that forever, yet I can't afford it and after hearing her heart out, I fell so down in my own eyes.

I wanted to get away from her but hell with my feelings, staying away from her for me is almost like taking slow dozes of poison everyday.

I failed to stay away from her and the depression of her constant thoughts made me sick, the remorse I went through in this ten days is worst than death just thinking how much pain she would be enduring and I can't even caress her cheek.

No one deserves a man like me, who will degrade the love of his life like she is trash and was just used for pleasure.

No one deserves a father like me, who will kill his own daughter, maybe it was unintentional, but still I am the murderer of my baby.

I am so selfish and she doesn't deserves me, yet I can't leave her, How hard I played to let her coward brother know that his sister is mere trash for me, so if we ever stood against each other he would never use her against me.

Nor her nor my son's or my family, I don't want them in any danger, Not after the blunder I had already put them through.

But I see myself failing again and again, Once there was time, I was brutally obsessed with her, but I shouldn't name it as love, cause how much I called it love, It couldn't turned out to be the one.

I got everything I laid my eyes on and once I got it I always used them and threw them carelessly with no care, and She was one of those things, I am feeling ashamed but not anymore.

I accept whatever I did with her was my selfish love for my family, to save my mother and sister from humiliation, to save my family's reputation, but If I had loved her truly maybe I would have never done that.

But now everything is changed breathing without her is more unhealthy than getting suffocating with her memories.

How cruelly I pushed her away so She too should understand, I ain't capable of trusting again but killing my daughter wasn't in my list.

If I had known about her pregnancy, I would have never behaved like that with her, I killed my baby with my own hand, the one whom I desperately wanted to hold in my arms.

That bloody day still roams in my head when she was lying on bed with pool of blood all over her lower region and I stood beside her seeing the premature embryo of my baby.

I felt my heart breaking apart seeing her condition, It would have much better if I had killed myself than witnessing her state and seeing my daughter in that condition.