Tawakal

Zohra

In heart of every human being there is a sense of loneliness which cannot be put out except by being close to Allah SWT .

"Ammi . Will you always be with me " I asked as my mother ,who was braiding my hair ."Yes . I will always be with you, my curly haired princess " . she said while placing my braided hair on my shoulder . I turned to look at her but there was no one , the chair , it was empty and still rocking . I glanced around the room but everything was desolate . My breathing fastened , soon the cream colored walls , started to dim and eventually turned pitch black .Darkness started to engulf the room and only my mere existence was left in it . I looked around hastily but all was in vain .

"AMMI" my screams echoed back "Ammi don't leave " I cried again and started to run away from this nothingness. "AMMI come back AMMI " I cried out again while running. My heavy breathing was the only voice I can hear and it was messing with my mind . I felt like my lungs would collapse and I will die in this dark nothingness .

I felt someone was shaking my arm "Zohra beta " . I immediately opened my eyes . First thing I saw was my baba and he is home "Zohra sweetheart . What happened ". Tears formed in my eyes and I hugged baba while crying . " Baba the-s-se night mares " I cried out . "shhhhh zohra I am here everything will be fine now .

As I calmed down ,baba sat on my side and handed me bunch of jasmine ."Here you go my curly haired princess " I smiled while a tear escaped from the corner of my eyes . Baba wiped it " Shhh don't cry beta , your tears are expensive " I laughed out . "Baba, should I bring you something to eat " . He nodded in no " No zohra I just wanna take a rest as we both have a long day ahead ". He stood up and kissed my forehead . I smiled and baba closed the door . I looked at the clock and it was three in the morning .

I smiled and got up to perform ablution . Maybe Allah wants me to wake up for tahajudd that is why I have these nightmares frequently. I walked into the room and laid down my prayer mat.

After praying , I raised my hands for dua and tears started to run down my face . My lips and hands were trembling " Ya Rab " I cried out . " Every time , I see ammi in my dream I miss her so much .My creator , My Lord .....grant my ammi Jannah ...Ameen " as I finished praying . A gust of wind brushed my wet face . I smiled as I got up from the praying mat and walked toward the window . Looking out I saw stars and moons singing melody and the wind was adding to the rhythm .

Soon the call of prayer could be heard and it was a delight for my ears .I went on to pray fajar. and went down stairs to have a cup of tea .

I made a cup for baba too and went to his room . I opened the door to see baba praying . I placed the tray on the table and sat near baba . Baba has always been my light in the dark and is always on my side . I was 5 when my mother died from cancer . Since then baba raised me up . He is my father and my mother as well .

I was pulled out of my thoughts when baba got up and sat near me . I handed him the cup of tea . He took a sip and hummed ." Zohra.. MashAllah .....I missed this tea so much " . I smiled " Then babaaa .... take me next time with you "Baba nodded . "Zohra I want you to get married beta." my smile faded " No , baba I am not leaving you ." I said while looking at my hand . I heard a sigh come from baba .

He grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes . "Zohra I want you to have a family .I don't know how much days I have left in this world . I just want to see your happiness in my days remaining " . I took a deep breath " Baba don't say that , may Allah grant you long life " .... As I said I placed my head on baba's shoulder . " Zohra ,do you like someone " I shot my head up and instantly replied in a no . Baba smiled " Then I want you to get married to Muaz , his father is a good friend of mine and his mother has also met you . They both want your hand in marriage for Muaz . "

My eyes went wide . I don't know what to say , as it is the first time baba has mentioned someone particular for me . He wants me to get married but I always denied it but now baba has mentioned someone for me .

" Baa-baa" .... I stuttered . " Yes beta " ..." I want to think about it I need some time " Baba smiled and nodded . I got up and slowly went towards the kitchen ...........

TO BE CONTINUED