Grin And Bear It

4 | Boys Will Be Boys

The rest of my week went more of the same. My day to day became an obsessive cycle of shame. I woke up just like every morning, greeted my family, drove my sister to school, then rushed to my first period without a word to anyone else. Sophia and I shared a majority of our classes. I didn't know how I hadn't noticed her before.

Every chance I got I stared at her. The rest of the world faded away as I watched her take down notes, talk to her friends, play with her hair; always with a smile. I hadn't heard a word anybody else said. When Friday came I had two pop quizzes, both of which I failed, dramatically. My parents were going to kill me if I kept this up.

Believe it or not I usually didn't get in trouble. I made sure to get good grades and follow the rules. When I was told to do something I did it. I liked helping people and was always willing to go out of my way to do it. I hated getting in trouble.

For the first time I found myself in detention to make up for my failed grades and lack of concentration. I had absolutely nothing to show for the wasted brain cells. I still hadn't said a word to Sophia. I hadn't received a word from her. Not even a glance in my direction. It was like I didn't even exist to her.

All I could do was sulk about it until I wandered to the field an hour later than I was supposed to. The football team was just running their final drills when I climbed the stand to find Alex seated at the lowest bench. His focus remained on the field even as I squatted next to him. We were still stuck in this cold war of him ghosting me and ignoring my presence. He came around like normal, sat with us at lunch, and participated in class when I needed a partner. But he acted like I wasn't there.

It hurt more with each passing day. I didn't have time to grovel to him though. It felt like I was busier than ever that week but nothing had really happened. My mind was just at a constant battle with itself. I could not focus on a single thing with school, Sophia, Nona, and Alex. Not to mention the hundred other things I was procrastinating and pushing to the back of my mind so I could give my attention to them.

I needed to start somewhere to get my life organized again. Alex was the pinnacle for fixing everything. He wasn't going to help me until I apologized. So I sucked in a deep breath and stuffed my shame to the depths of my bowels. I dropped my bag and slid to my knees on the hot concrete in front of him. His eyes widened before my lips opened.

"Look, I'm sorry, sincerely. I was being grumpy because I messed up with Nona. It's all my fault, I know. You're not a player and I'm an incompetent asshole. You're a real gentleman through and through. So please, oh wise and, hopefully, merciful master, help me."

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his, "Get up, idiot. It looks like you're proposing to me."

"Not until you accept my apology."

"Fine, whatever, just get up." He shook his and I smiled taking my spot next to him again. He couldn't hide the slight tilt to his lip as he turned to glare at me, "You're ridiculous. People already think we're gay, you really don't help my case sometimes."

I pursed my lips into a scowl, "Who thinks we're gay?"

"Well, Nona mostly but rumors spread like wildfire around here."

He hunkered down as if to hide from their impending heat. He wasn't exaggerating. You said one wrong thing to the wrong person and everyone knew by the end of the day. You had to hold your secrets tightly around here.

"Thank you by the way." I looked back at him to see a small smile light his features. A genuine grin that despite my continued failures makes the whole week worth the suffering. His eyes traced the field slowly back and forth. "She actually looks like she's having a good time. I never pictured Nona as a band geek though."