Training (Jenlisa Adaptation)

Prologue

"Never?"

I pull the covers up over my naked body, shifting uncomfortably in my tiny single bed. "Um. No. Never."

My boyfriend stares at me like I've grown another head. "I've never made you come?"

I clear my throat. "No. Can you speak a bit quieter, please? I don't want mum to hear." Ye-jun's so angry, he's apparently forgotten we're in my tiny childhood bedroom, with my mother sleeping on the other side of the wall. She's wiped out from her meds, but if she does wake up and overhear this conversation, I'll have to fake my own death and go live in a cave.

He just stares at me in utter horror. "We've been together three years, and you haven't ever thought to mention that you hadn't come?" I open my mouth, and he cuts me off. "And of course, it's my fault. Because I'm just a total asshole, and everything I do is wrong, right?"

"No! Not at all! It's not your fault, baby. It's me." I squirm in my sheets. "It's actually quite common. Ten percent of women never orgasm in their lives."

He looks at me with pure, raw disgust on his face. "That's messed up, Jennie."

"What do you mean? I—it's not my fault, either. It's just the way I am."

He stands up jerkily and starts pacing the room, running a hand through his hair. "This is bullshit," he mutters. "I can't be with a woman who I can't even have sex with. What's the point?"

Dread shoots through my blood. Oh my God. Oh my God, he's going to leave me. I reach for him. "Ye-jun, please. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just didn't see the point. I knew it would upset you, and it's not like I can do anything about it."

"I've been with plenty of girls, I've never had this problem!" He snaps. "There's something wrong with you!" I flinch. He shakes his head, picking up his jeans. "I can't do this."

My stomach drops. "What? What do you mean?"

"I mean, we're over."

Tears blur my vision. "I— but half an hour ago, you were telling me how much you loved me!" He ignores me, yanking his jeans up his thighs. I slide off the bed and grab his arm. "Please. Don't do this. I'm sorry. I'll try harder. I'll go to the doctor. Or a therapist. Maybe there's a drug I can take, or something—"

He snorts. "Like that's any less embarrassing. My girlfriend needed therapy and prescription pills before I could get her off. It's humiliating. It's insulting, Jennie."

"Why is it humiliating? It's my vagina! It has nothing to do with you! Ye-jun, please. I can't do this on my own." I'm starting to panic. I remember the dark days before I met him, when it was just me and mum and GCSEs and medical bills. The thought of having to handle everything all alone again feels like a black hole starting to swallow me up. "Please. Please."

He shakes me off. "Look at it this way," he says reasonably, picking up his shirt from where it's puddled on the floor. "If I can't get sex from this relationship, I'll have to go find it elsewhere. D'you want me to break up with you, or cheat on you?" He shrugs the shirt on, flicks his hair out of his face. "Really, I'm doing you a favour."

"I don't understand why it's such a big deal," I'm half in tears. "It feels good for you, right? And we love each other, so what does it matter?"

"It matters, because it makes me feel like a total twat." He snaps on his watch and yanks open my bedroom door.

I grab his hand. Tears are sliding down my face. "You said you wanted to be with me forever."

"Well, maybe next time, you should inform a guy before he wastes three years of his life that you're fucking defective," he snarls, and slams the door in my face.