Training (Jenlisa Adaptation)

Jennie

At five to eight, I'm shaved and made up and pacing around my bedroom, stressed out of my mind. I don't know what I'm doing. Why did I think this would be a good idea? How is getting sex lessons from the girl I'm in unrequited love with going to help anything? I won't be able to come, and she'll get annoyed, and then she'll hate me. She'll hate me, just like Ye-jun.

For the fiftieth time this evening, I grab my phone to call her and cancel--but before I can unlock it, there's a knock on my door. I almost trip over my bed in my hurry to open it. When I see Lisa, my heart squeezes.

She's wearing a tight black t-shirt and joggers. Her hair is down and curling damply around her shoulders, darkened to brown by her post-game shower. Her eyes are lighter than the sky.

I must look terrified, because she smiles, touching her thumb in between my eyebrows. "Relax, Nini. I'm not gonna just push you up against a wall and ravish you." She slips past me into the room and chucks a packet of chocolate buttons at my chest. I catch them before they slide to the floor. "Your favourite." She flops onto my bed with a groan. "Mind if I put some music on?"

"Uh. Sure." I turn on my speaker, and she connects it to her phone. A slow, low-fi song starts playing quietly, washing over us. She stretches out on my bed, rubbing the back of her neck. "Jesus, our coach is having some kind of sadistic episode, I swear. I'm not gonna be able to move tomorrow." She tips her head up at me. "Wanna spoon?"

I stand awkwardly on my rug. I'm not sure what's going on. I assumed this lesson would be a bit more naked, but she looks more like she's settling in for a nap. "What's happening?"

"I'm trying to relax you, babe. You look like you want to run away. It's hurting my feelings." She pats the quilt next to her. "Come sit, eat your chocolate."

I sit down gingerly on the edge of the mattress. She shuffles closer, crosses her legs. Her knee brushes mine. "So," she says, very kindly, reaching out to take my hand. "How much experience do you have?"

"I've only ever had sex with one guy. Ye-jun. I dated him from when I was sixteen to eighteen."

"And you never tried again?"

I shake my head. "I was too scared."

Her entire body stiffens. "Scared? Nini, did he do something to you?"

"God, no. Nothing like that. It's just, whenever I had sex with him—" I trail off, trying to say this in a way that doesn't sound totally pathetic.

"He peed on you," Lisa finishes, nodding understandingly. "Been there."

I blink. "What? No!"

"He put it in the wrong hole? Men do that sometimes."

"No, I—"

"You found out he was your cousin."

I shove at her shoulder, and she grins, biting down onto a chocolate. "No, nothing like that. It just... hurt." I look down at my hands. She tilts her head, not saying anything. I can hear her breathing, steady and reassuring. The music ripples slowly around us, like waves. Rain slides down the windows. "It hurt so much."

She squeezes my hand. "Oh, babe. Did you get checked out?"

I nod. "I went to the gyno, she said there was nothing wrong, that I was just too tense. But no matter how much I tried, I couldn't relax. And every time we had sex after that, it just seemed to get worse and worse." I push some hair behind my ear. "The night we broke up, we were having sex, and I just—couldn't put up with the pain anymore. I told him the truth. When I admitted he'd never actually made me orgasm, he broke up with me on the spot. And I've not had sex since."