Sunit Embrace

Chapter 15: Ethan Carter

I had never felt the beat of my heart, go down the damn road like that. Worse than that. Seeing Julia lash, knowing she would never lash like that...
I think about every damn moment, Julia, every single day, how your wrapped around my head, like a damn tattoo. Every single fucking damn minute not day, anymore. What are you doing to me?!, Julia

I stood, like a stupid person, wondering which direction to go to. Right or left? Never felt like that or thought that. But knew my first and last moves. Like they were already planned in me. But now, today. I seem lost. What did you do to my fucking head Julia?!

I run out the door, not caring about who saw me run like a lunatic?, I ran to the ladies washroom, before barging inside. I hear Julia's words travel to me..my face frowned. There was no time to frown, I open the door, slowly walking in.

I fucking didn't care who saw me, but cared about losing Julia. Fuck the embarrassment, fuck everyone who was gonna laugh at me in the end.

"And if I thought of the opposite of your question and answer, id save you, if you'd ask me to burn the world down into pieces, I'll nod and obey"
A slight smirk lingered on my face, "And you have all the rights to hate me, and I will not do anything to that" I add, not because she had me stuck like a damn glue,
no because I know that sunshine personality of her wouldn't do anything to me or hate me.

I realise at that moment, that all I wanted was not fame not money. But her
But I will resist and hold back, knowing she hates me and despises me right now.

I see her eyes widen, in shock. I stare at her devastated eyes. "As much as those words sink in me, I still want you damn away from me." She uttered out, turning back to the mirror.

Id plead her, beg her, exhort her. But I did not. "Why the fuck are you avoiding me?" I ask her my tone cold. "Just answer the damn question, you don't have to add 56 explanations or thoughts, just 1 damn answer" I utter out stiffly, stuffing my hands in my pocket, ha it'd seem so crazy?, I'm acting stiff to her but my desires are her.

"That's nothing to concern you" She spoke dryly, walking to the door, before I block it. "it concerns me, since it's about me" I spoke stiffness hurried my tone, I was lost. What does she want exactly?, me on my knees begging her?, or me pleading her.

"Move, I have a shoot to attend, which you ruined." She spoke, un-regretful of her words.

"I'm trying to be fucking gentle, don't push your luck with me, Julia." I spoke, uttering out, steadying myself against the washroom door.

"Please, please leave me alone, just go?!, I don't need you." She spoke, looking down, away from me. Sounding like she's about to reck in tears.
I pull away, watching her storm off to her shooting room.

I tilt my head against the door, my hands still in my pockets. "I'm not obsessed, nor addicted. But for some reason I hate seeing you in that situation. I still don't understand you, or your life." I mutter to myself, letting out a frustrated sigh. I can't even do anything right today.

____

I remained on my seat in my office, after getting back from the scene, engrossed at my computer, surreptitiously accessing Julia's messages. All I need was the truth, that was my desire for now..

No one knew but, that I had a security company too. Which made getting into any type of software easy.
In a matter of minutes id be in, now I'm in. I didn't wanna invalid in her privacy. So I just went through the top last messaged people.

I scroll through the messages my eyes widen. "Sophie that scoundrel" I mutter in a subdued tone.
I had just witnessed, the threat that Sophie put Julia in. My anger boiling, I just felt bad, for Julia now. Felt bad?! Ha- what was I thinking, when have I ever felt bad for anyone.

____

I was sat in the tattoo parlor, perched upon the chair designated for such artistry, the tattoo artist having just outlined my chosen design. The phrase "Sunlit Embrace" held profound significance, encapsulating our tumultuous relationship, wouldn't call it a bond even but I knew it was right and I was right of my decision,
       marked by both animosity and enduring love,     wouldn't call it love, but hateress, and the relentless urgency of life itself.

Returning with the tattoo gun and ink, the artist posed the crucial question, "Are you certain of your decision" I nodded in affirmation, as the tattooing commenced upon my wrist, a permanent testament etched in my own blood, a poignant reminder of the time that passed.

Not a flicker of pain crossed my countenance.

In a matter of minutes, I hear the tattoo artist utter out speaking. "We're done", I gaze upon my wrist before he wraps it with tape.
I get up with a slight smiling, paying him then leaving a tip.

____

I was in my car, driving full speed, towards my Modeling company, I texted Julia and Sophie to be in my office, in 5 minutes. I was gonna show Sophie, my other lingering side. At that moment I didn't care who I'll be crashing into.
Or what speeding ticket id get. I grasp the steering wheel firmly, with a small smirk lingering on my mouth.

I cared for revenge. That I was going to give back to Julia.