Speak || A Twilight Fanfic

Chapter 28

Edward was safe, and she would one day become a vampire. It was all that the Bella of only six months before had dreamed of. She should have been rejoiced, jumping off walls in ecstasy.

Instead, there was a melancholy that clung to her bones like a sickness. Becoming everything she had wanted meant letting go of things that she didn't know she wanted until—honestly—Gabi had come to Forks.

Before having her sister in Forks, Bella had not given much thought to everything she was renouncing to by losing her human life. She knew her parents would grow old and eventually die. That was part of many people's lives, it wasn't much different for vampires. But she'd be relinquishing many human experiences that she hadn't really cared for before.

For the first time in her life, she wanted to get drunk. She wanted to walk down a beach on a sunny day and feel the warm sun on her skin. She wanted to grow old, maybe have kids. She wanted to see her sister grow old, but she didn't want to lose her. Out of everything that came with becoming a vampire, seeing her sister die was the scariest. And she had just witnessed a mass feeding by the Volturi.

Bella couldn't be sure, but a part of her knew that becoming a vampire meant losing her sister altogether. Even if the younger Swan knew about the supernatural world and was involved in it already, she knew if Gabi stayed with Paul, there would always be a choking tension between them. And if her sister had a family, she'd have to hide what she was to protect them or never meet them at all. Every scenario simply ended with Bella losing her sister forever.

She couldn't imagine how, only six months before, she had considered that to be her only path. Bella had begged Edward to turn her so many times she was sure one day he would cave. Back then she didn't care about leaving Gabi in the dust and disappearing into the glare of forever with who she thought was the love of her life. That girl didn't know of how much hurt he would put her through.

"I thought you'd be happy right now," Edward whispered, his voice breaking her spiraling thoughts. "I mean, aside from the circumstances we were just in, I thought you'd be happy. At least talk to me with something more than head movements."

The girl had been quiet since they had left the Volturi's presence. Truthfully, she had nothing to say. Not yet. "Well, I'm glad you're okay," she said, her voice croaking after being unused for some time. "I've just been thinking."

"About what?" he questioned. There was a hint of annoyance in his tone, and she knew it was because her thoughts would always remain a mystery to him. Something she was glad about for the first time ever. "You'll be getting what you wanted."

"I just... I was thinking about my sister."

"Gabriella? I thought you guys didn't have a close relationship."

"Things have changed, Edward," she spat in a tone that surprised her. "You've been gone for over six months. Not that you'd notice how long it's been. I know how insignificant human time is to immortal beings."

"I don't understand why you're being so cold with me, Bella. I really thought it'd be different."

The Swan girl wanted to scoff. Hell, she wanted to slap him across the face for once. But that was only a part of her. There was another part that was screaming at her to engulf him in her arms, to forget all the hurt he had caused her and make up for lost time. It was the part of her that had destroyed her for the better part of the year. The part that used to have her thinking she could easily abandon her family for the promise of an eternal tomorrow with Edward.

"I'm just tired, okay?" Bella sighed as she rested her head against the plane window. "It's been some very eventful days."

The vampire went to take a hold of the hand that she rested between them, but she quickly pulled it away, wrapping her arms around her, claiming to be cold. After, she closed her eyes, but she did not sleep.