Liam's Revenge

Chapter 4 - The Child

Shame burns in my gut.

But seeing torturous pain in Liam's eyes? That is thousand times, ten thousand times worse than my own hurt.

He lets out a breath I didn't even realize he was holding. The tension never leaves his shoulders as he presses his forehead against the storage room wall.

It's a lie, a horrid one, but right now, it's the only shield I have.

I'm a liar.

The look of devastation on Liam's face punches me in the gut.

How can I do this to him? I'm an absolute monster. But there is no turning back now, not since the yarn has started unraveling.

Liam asks, voice thick with concern. "How did it happen?"

Panic sparks in my chest. I have to keep going. Keep fucking spinning this web of deceit. "I don't know," I mumble, forcing back tears that threaten to spill. "I am not quite sure. Everything is such a blur to me. It was in the first trimester. Just... complications, the doctor said. Stress, maybe. I prefer not to remember his exact diagnosis. I'm sure you'll understand."

The mention of stress seems to hit a nerve with him. Guilt clouds Liam's features.

"Stress, ye say? Alex, this is all my fault, isn't it? You left because of me, because of what I told ye. How I was going to inherit Kieran's empire, become the Captain of the Irish mobsters of Dublin. And all that worry..." He trails off, his gaze dropping to the floor.

"No," I lie again, desperately seeking to absolve him, sinking deeper and deeper into the quicksand of my own making. "I am sure it wasn't you."

Liam looks up, a flicker of longing in his eyes. "Alexandra. Do ye know if it was a boy or a girl?"

"I..." I lick my lips. "I don't know. It was just too early. The doctor wouldn't have even known if it was a boy or... a girl." My voice cracks on the last word.

"So it could have been either? A boy or a girl, huh? I..." He hesitates, then continues, his voice barely a whisper, tears streaming down his face. "For what it's worth... I would have loved to see either. Perhaps... Perhaps I would've preferred a lass. A lass that would look jus' like her mom. Imagine that. A little ye, running around. She would be ours, Alexandra. Born from the love we feel." Liam swallows as if he is realizing he might be overstepping. "...we felt for each other."

Liam's words send a fresh wave of pain crashing over me.

A little me, he says.

The image that flashes in my mind isn't of some imaginary child with my features, but that of my Sofia.

Our Sofia.

Her bright eyes, the stubborn set of her jaw – so much like Liam.

If he only knew just how much his daughter looks like him.

A pang of longing stabs at me. They would have been perfect together, Liam Cavanaugh and a little she-Liam.

But that's a family we can never have.

The thought of them ever meeting, of Liam seeing a reflection of himself in Sofia, is a terrifying prospect. I must impede that at all costs.

I force a sad smile, my voice choked. "A beautiful thought," I murmur, the lie bitter on my tongue.

Internally, I clench my jaw. It's for the best, a mantra I repeat silently like a prayer. He can never know the truth. The life I've built for Sofia, the fragile normalcy Enzo and I cling to...