Good Luck, Babe!

Everything Is Fine

Pearl White.

"Pearl! Get your ass down here!" My dad called from down the stairs.

I wiped my falling tears and rushed down as quickly as I could, not wanting to upset my father again.

"Yes daddy?" I ask him as soon as I reach the kitchen counter.

"I need you to get me more cigarettes from the corner store. And wipe your face, you look weak." He tells me, putting his cigarette bud out in the cup of water next to him.

"Yes daddy." My voice is wobbly. 'Don't be weaker than you already are' the voice in my head tells me.

I ran up the stairs and grabbed the money from his dresser.

My mother grabbed my wrist before I could leave the room. "Where are you goin'?"

"The corner store to get daddy more cigarettes." I stare at the floor, I can't meet her eyes.

"Dressed like a slut?" She scowls.

I look down at my clothes, I'm only wearing my jean shorts and a tank top, what's so slutty about that? It's 90 degrees out, of course I'm going to wear shorts and a tank top!

"I didn't know I was dressed like a slut." I swallow.

"Who am I kidding," She says with a laugh. "That'll make Mr. Jenkins give us more of a discount! Go ahead and go." She releases my arm.
I rush down the stairs and out the door, I am not a slut! I'm 12! I get on my bike and start to head over to the store, it's only about 20 minutes away, I will be fine.

A few minutes into my bike ride I hear someone calling my name from behind me.

"Pearl!" A boy calls out to me.

I turn around and sigh, it's just Kenji. Kenji was a 16 year old Filipino boy, well built from working on his father's farm.

"My daddy said I'm not allowed to talk to you or your brother anymore. Said you and your family were dirty spies." I say.

He looks down at the ground and sighs. I don't know why my daddy thinks that. Kenji's family are people too.

"Do you think that?" He asks.

"No." I shake my head.

"Then you can still talk to me and Isamu, in secret." He smiles.

"But.." I don't wanna make daddy angry again. "Ok." I smile back at him.

"Alright! Isamu will be happy about that, see you later!" He starts to walk back up the smaller dirt path that leads to his house.

I swallow all my nerves and continue down the dirt road.

Slowly the vast fields of crops and trees fade into the small town, the town that is constantly filled with teenagers shopping and couples on dates, the town filled with small family owned businesses and flower shops, the same town that makes fun of my friends for not being white, the same town that calls me ugly and scum for not being as pretty as other girls, I hate it here.

My mama always said I was beautiful, that the other girls were jealous that I was curvier and taller, that they were jealous because my hair was curly and long, and they were jealous of my eyes being dark brown that turned golden in the sun. But that was before she turned to drinking, before I had to hide from both her and my father in the closet on nights they went out to the bar. That was before she slut shamed me for being nice to boys, before she started to tell me I needed to lose weight because curves weren't natural, before all the girls got much prettier and outgrew me.

I parked my bike outside of Mr. Jenkins shop and walked in, the bell ringing above my head.

"Hello Pearl! Looking beautiful as always." He smiled at me, Yuck.