A New Beginning- Lexie Grey

Interns

⚠️TW: PANIC ATTACKS AND SELF HARM⚠️

As I wake up, I tiredly realize it was the first day that the new interns arrive at the hospital. "Lexie!! Time to get up. You're gonna be late for your first day with new interns!!" My sister calls from the door of my room. "Okay coming." I grumble tiredly and get up to get ready. "I can't wait to meet the new interns." I think to myself as I walk out to the car with Meredith and Alex.
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I walk into the hospital, and go to the locker room to change into my scrubs and then go to the nurses station to wait on my interns. Soon enough, after a couple minutes all the interns are behind me. Meredith assigns the interns. "And great. I'm stuck with Jo Wilson. Today's gonna be amazing." I say quietly annoyed to myself. "I have five rules. Memorize them. 1) you will not talk over me. 2) you answer your pager immediately. 3) if I run, you run. 4) the on call rooms are for napping. No funny business." I say towards the group of cowardly interns in front of me. "Dr Grey. I think that was only four?" Jo ask trying to correct me. I look at her and sigh. "5. No stupid questions." I say grinning at the embarrassed intern. "This might be more fun than I imagined" I thought to myself as I walked away from the spot where we were. And the group of interns quickly followed till we got to the ER. "1,2 you're with Dr Hunt on Trauma . 3,4 you're with Dr Torres on Ortho, and 5 you're with me." I order the interns around. Of course I wasn't thinking and 5 just so happened to be Jo Wilson. "5, come with me." I say walking off to a patients room who's coding. "Get a crash cart in here!!"  I say to the panicking intern, while panicking myself. "Charge to 200. Clear!" No change. "Charge to 300. Clear!" No change again. I start to panic. "Chest compressions. 5!!!" I say to the intern staring horrified at the scene infront of her. "Chest compressions, Now!!" I demand towards the intern. Jo starts to do compressions. The monitor flatlines. The patient is dead. "Time of death, 2:37 pm." I say and run out of the room with my heart beating fast and I can barely breathe. I run into an empty on call room and start crying. "I killed that patient. It was on me. What am I gonna do." I think to myself as I can barely breathe. All I can do is sob. I pull a razor blade out of my scrubs pocket and hold it against my wrist and gently slide and press it till a little blood appears. Just then someone comes in. It's Jo.  I don't even say anything. I'm just looking at her as she slowly walks beside me and sits down on the bed right beside me. "Lexie. Don't cut. It's okay. You're okay." She says trying to calm me. I continue sobbing and shaking, but don't tell her to go away. I needed somebody with me. She looks at my wrist, which was covered in blood by now, and then at me. "Lexie, I promise what happened wasn't your fault. You did everything you could." Jo says trying to get me to stop crying. She gets up and walks over to a drawer where there's simple medical supplies. But she doesn't take her eyes off me the whole time she's walking over there. She grabs a bandage and some sterilizing wipes and walks back over to me and sits down again. "Lexie, I need to clean your wrist." She says calmly as she slowly reaches towards my wrist. She gently wipes the blood off it and wraps the bandage around it and over the part I cut. After she finished she says "See Lex, all better." I smile. She called me Lex. My nickname only my favorite people call me. Maybe she isn't as bad as I thought. "Thanks Jo." I say sniffling but grateful. She returns a warm smile when I said that. "We should go." I say to her as I get up to leave. "Yeah. We should." She replies. And we both walk out of the room and go back to work and act like nothing happened between us.

—After Work—

"Jo!!" Alex says running down the hallway towards the lobby, after his sister with me running right behind him. "Why am I even coming with him. I don't even like his sister. But oh well I'm here now. Let's just get this over with." I think to myself before she replies. "What?" She says turning around and noticing me. "Hi Lexie." She says looking at me. "Hey." I say not meeting her gaze. "Meredith wants to know if you'd like to move in with us. You can have Izzy's old room." Alex says to his sister. "Of course!! Only if all of you guys, especially Lexie since she's my resident, are fine with it." She says unsure. "Yeah, I'm okay with it." I say still not looking at her. "Great. I'll go tell Meredith." Alex says as he walks off. Which leaves Jo and I in the hospital lobby. "About earlier. I didn't mean to intrude." Jo whispers. "It's fine. You were just trying to help me. I get it. I don't mind it either. I'm grateful that you were there to stop me before I cut more." I say. "Are you okay now though?" She asks still a bit concerned. "Yeah. I think so. This doesn't mean we're friends. Just so you know." I say breaking the sweet moment. "Right." She says a little disappointed. Just then, Meredith and Alex appear. "Ready to go?" Meredith says to us.  "Yep. All ready." I say to my sister. And then we all walk off to the car, to
go back home.