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Chapter 2

That was it then. He fucked up.

Maybe he should have pretended that he didn't know anything and that they were both just two random guys that enjoyed talking to each other. He wishes he could say that he told the truth because it was the right thing to do and it wouldn't be fair to Jude otherwise, but while that's not a lie, it's only part of the reason why he did it.

He knew that if he pretended he didn't know who he's talking to, they could have continued like before, but he desperately hoped that they could have a lot more than just online chats now with both of them knowing who each other is. As it seems not only that won't be happening, but Gavi managed to ruin what they had, too.

He feels like shit for the rest of the day and considers asking Pedri to come over to tell him what happened, but he knows Pedri will try to comfort him and make him feel better and Gavi's not ready for that yet. He wants to stay in bed and be sad about it for a bit longer.

He wonders how Jude's handling it, if he has someone to talk to about this, what he's thinking about, if he regrets talking to him all these months. He wonders if he'll hear from him again; if the next Clasico will be an awkward fucking mess with both of them trying to avoid each other when that's going to be literally impossible.

He just wonders and wonders and wonders, the tightness in his chest not leaving for a second, like someone's wrapped their hand around his heart and just keeps squeezing it. He ignores any texts he gets, not in the mood to talk to anyone, but still checks his phone every time it buzzes with a new notification, hoping it'll be from Jude only to keep getting disappointed when he sees a different name on the screen.

Surprisingly the message he was hoping for comes later that night, after several hours of Gavi sulking in bed and thinking about Jude and rereading their conversations that only makes the hurt worse, but he can't help it. He wasn't really expecting Jude to text him that same night and he can't help wondering whether that's a good thing or not. He rushes to answer anyway.

J
> Hey

Pablo
> Hey I wasn't expecting to hear from you so soon

J
> Same tbh.

Pablo
> How're you?
> How're you handling this?

J
> Well I didn't disappear for like two weeks so definitely better than you

Pablo
> Yeah I'm sorry about that

J
> It's okay I guess
> Well maybe not okay but I get it
> I understand now
> Would you like to meet in person to talk?

Gavi's lips part in surprise at the question and before he can freak out about this too, he quickly types a reply.

Pablo
> Yes where?

J
> Wherever you want. I don't mind.

Gavi can't help feeling relieved at that. He can't imagine going to Madrid and then having to do the trip back if this goes horribly. He still feels guilty for how he handled this and would agree to meet Jude wherever, but since Jude's letting him choose, Gavi won't refuse.

Pablo
> Do you mind coming to Barcelona? We can talk at my house?

J
> Yeah alright

They're lucky enough that their busy schedules seem to be pretty aligned this week and they find a date that works for both of them, in just three days. They also exchange numbers so Gavi can send him the address and whatever other information Jude might need to get there, and that's that.