In The Crowd - B.E.

Chapter Fourty - Y/n

"So I have an idea," Billie says as we're driving back home from her parents' house.

"What's that?"

"We should go to Seattle,"

"Why?"

"So we can see your family again. And your friends,"

"Okay, but when? You're kind of busy right now," I ask.

"I've cleared my schedule and moved some things around. I was thinking maybe in a month. We could stay there for like a week, and then after we could go on that trip, I was planning,"

"What trip?"

"Remember when I asked you where you would like to go if we were to go on a trip?" I nod. "Well, we can go there for a little while,"

"How long is a little while?"

"Maybe a couple of weeks. If that's okay with you,"

"Yeah, that works. How long have you been planning all of this?"

"A few months. It's just taken me a while to try and find time and then clear up my schedule. It would've been sooner if I could've done it faster," she explains.

"Are you just trying to get away from everything?"

"A little bit. I also want to spend more time with you,"

"You see me every day. You spend almost every second with me," I remind her.

"I know, but there's always something going on. I wanna be with you. Just you. With nothing else going on," I smile. "What are you smiling about?"

"You're just so cute," I watch as her face turns red, and she looks away.

"Shut up," she mumbles.

-

"When will you guys be leaving?" Maggie asks as we're backstage as Billie is doing another interview.

"I'm not so sure. She said she's gonna be doing all the planning, so I have no idea. She said in about a month, though," I tell her.

"Isn't that when your guys' two years is?" Claudia asks. I think about it, and she's right.

"Oh, yeah. I didn't even realize that,"

"Did you not remember when your anniversary is?"

"I just didn't think about it," I defend myself. "Maybe it's a plan to be together for that,"

"That would make sense," Finneas says. I nod. "That's cute, though. Just being able to go somewhere and relax for your anniversary."

"It's only for us being together for two years. We're only dating. I don't think it's that important,"

"Only dating? Are anniversaries for dating, not a thing to you?" Claudia asks. I shrug.

"I mean, yes and no. I get that it's an important thing. A milestone, I guess. But to me, it'd mean more if we married or something," I explain. They nod.

"That makes sense," Maggie says.

"See, someone gets it," I laugh.

"Where is she taking you again?" Claudia asks.

"First we're going back to Seattle to see my family and then after that, we're going to Italy because I told her that's somewhere I'd want to go," I told her. "I don't know why we're going to visit my family first, but that's just what she said. She's already got permission from my mom to let us stay there while we're visiting,"

I still don't understand why she's planned a trip so last minute. Not that I'm complaining. I like the idea of getting away for a while. Now I'm nowhere near as known as Billie, but people have been recognizing me more and more over the last two years. Which makes sense, I'm dating THE Billie Eilish. Although, we've only been out as a couple for a year now. People have asked for pictures with me. I know that it's only because they know me as Billie Eilish's girlfriend. Obviously, it is. I haven't had any significance to anything. I haven't even done anything significant. I am not famous like she is. It doesn't bother me that I'm known as her girlfriend. I really do like that title. I mean, I am her girlfriend, and I'm the happiest I've ever been. I love her with everything I have in me. We've never really had any arguments. Other than the one.

I still can't believe that happened. I'm so glad that Gia stopped hanging out with Eva after that. I'm pretty sure that she would still be trying to ruin my relationship with Billie if she was still able to get ahold of me in some way. We've all blocked her on everything. Although, if she had still been in Gia's life, she probably would've found another way of getting in contact with me or Billie and probably would've managed to end our relationship. I still can't believe how stupid I was. I should've known. I should've set the boundary with Gia, not Eva. There was a time when I blamed Gia for that whole situation because she was the one who made me have Eva's number. I get that she hoped that if I directly set boundaries with Eva, that she would've backed off, but she didn't. Gia kept telling me to just keep bringing Billie up, but that obviously didn't work. It only seemed to make her try harder to get with me. I'm just glad she's out of all of our lives.

We're all finally able to leave, and Finneas says that we should all go get something to eat, but Billie denies the offer. She said she just wanted to go home. So she and I went home. When we got home, she immediately got into the shower. She didn't really talk the whole drive home. She just looked out of the window the whole time. I just figured she was tired and didn't really want to talk.

She spent almost an hour in the shower. It was almost midnight by the time she got out. She still hasn't talked to me. She just got into bed with her back turned to me. Is she mad? Did I do something? We haven't had anything bad happen between us.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask her. Nothing. "Billie? Are you asleep?"

"No," she mumbles.

"Is something wrong?"

"No,"

"Then why haven't you been talking to me?"

"I'm just irritated and tired,"

"Irritated? Why? Did I do something?" She sighs and turns to look at me.

"No, you didn't do anything. It's just everything. I sometimes just really wish I wasn't famous. I wish that I was a normal person and that I could live every day normally. I'm tired of everybody wanting to talk to me and wanting a picture with me. I want to be able to go outside and not have to worry about people recognizing me. I'm tired of interviews and answering the same repeated questions," she explains.

"You talking about people asking when the next album is coming out?" I ask. She nods.

"That's the only thing I got asked tonight. It's so fucking annoying. It takes time to make new music and then release it. I just released an album two years ago. It's hard to try and live up to the hype of the last one. That's why it took three years between my last two albums. I didn't know if I could make something that good again. Or if I could even make something better. But I did. And I don't even know if I can do it again,"

"You can Billie, but you don't owe anybody anything. You'll release something if you want to and you'll release it when you want to. Even if it takes another five years for you to make and release a new album people are still gonna love you. And if they don't, I will. I'll love you no matter what. I love when you sing but if there's a time when that's something you don't want to do anymore, I'm still gonna love you. And you're always gonna have people that love you," I remind her. She smiles but it quickly fades.

"Yeah, but even the people that will 'always love me' are still always gonna be asking when I'm releasing a new album or new music," I pull her closer to me and start playing with her hair.

"Well, they can all go fuck themselves. You don't owe them anything. You'll do what you want. You only need to do what you want to do," I tell her.

"I love you," she mumbles.

"I love you, too, baby,"

"Can we watch a movie?"

"Sure,"