Lovely Runner Oneshot

The Shadow of Success

SYNOPSIS: Ryu Sun Jae, a celebrated actor and former idol, stands on his apartment's balcony in Seoul, wrestling with inner demons despite his outward success. Memories of a strained relationship with his father, a fractured friendship with best friend and bandmate Baek In-Hyuk, and the hollow nature of fame haunt him as he contemplates the void that no accolades can fill. As he faces the cityscape below, Sun Jae's thoughts drift between guilt and a desperate yearning for peace, questioning the true cost of his gilded life.

NOTE: Inner thoughts of Sun Jae on his apartment's balcony. The ending might be open- ended, it depends on your interpretation, dear reader. Listen to Shadow by Suga (BTS) to understand the inner struggles of Sun Jae on his fame and success.

Ryu Sun Jae stood on the balcony of his penthouse apartment, the glittering cityscape of Seoul a cold, unfeeling reflection of his inner turmoil. Success. He had everything – awards, fame, a life most could only dream of. Yet, a hollowness echoed within him, a void no amount of adoration could fill.

The balcony railing was cool against his forehead as he reminisced. Defying his father, the chlorine-tinged ache of a forced passion, the fleeting joy of Eclipse's rise to fame, now poisoned by the suffocating hold of the industry. The fight with In-Hyuk, their friendship sacrificed on the altar of ambition.

His father, an avid fan of swimming, had always dreamt of Sun Jae to be part of the national swimming swim. At nineteen, Sun Jae had defied those dreams, seeking to find his own path. He thought leaving the pool behind would free him, but the constant injuries and endless rehabilitation had already worn down his spirit. His father, always supportive, told him that his happiness was what mattered most. Yet, Sun Jae felt like a disappointment, a son who had abandoned his father's aspirations.

Loneliness and sadness became his companions until Baek In-Hyuk, his best friend, invited him to join Eclipse. Performing on stage, seeing the joy on fans' faces, and hearing their cheers had rekindled a sense of purpose. The band's rise was meteoric, from small pubs to sold-out stadiums. But with fame came a new kind of prison—relentless media scrutiny, obsessive fans, and the constant pressure to maintain a facade.

Sun Jae's breaking point came when he confided in In-Hyuk about his desire to leave the band. The ensuing argument was explosive, nearly ending in blows, and it shattered their once unbreakable bond. In-Hyuk was also struggling, and Sun Jae felt guilty for adding to his burdens. Unable to share his inner turmoil with his friend, he sought solace in silence.

His psychiatrist suggested finding a new outlet, and Sun Jae turned to acting. And it had offered a temporary solace. He slipped into other skins, lived other lives, but never truly felt his own. He excelled, earning awards and starring in blockbuster films. Yet, despite his success, something remained missing, an unfulfilled void he couldn't understand.

The missing piece, the thing he couldn't grasp, gnawed at him. Was it the lost innocence, the childhood stolen by a pool that felt more like a prison? Was it the dream of a normal life, a life with genuine friendships, unburdened by the weight of expectation? Or perhaps, it was the simple joy of being himself, a joy he'd never truly known.

Sun Jae remembered the nights he spent lying awake, staring at the ceiling, trying to find a way out of the darkness that enveloped him. He thought about the times he had tried to reach out, only to feel unheard and unseen. The loneliness was crushing, an invisible hand squeezing the life out of him.

His mind drifted to his father, to In-Hyuk, to the fans, and to the person he had lost along the way—himself. He realized that in trying to escape one destiny, he had trapped himself in another.

A raw tear escaped, carving a wet track through the flawless makeup on his cheek. He was a product, meticulously crafted by the industry, a perfect face trapped behind a facade. But his eyes, unguarded by manufactured beauty, held a deep loneliness. They burned with a silent plea for something more than the gilded cage he called a life.

The distant wail of sirens echoed through the night, a mournful reminder of the fleeting nature of it all. Fame, fortune, success – all could vanish in a heartbeat. But what would be left?

He looked down at the street below, watching the tiny figures move about their lives, unaware of the turmoil that raged within him. He wondered if anyone would notice if he were gone, if anyone would care. The thought of disappearing, of finally finding peace, was almost comforting.

But there was also a pang of guilt. He thought of his father, his friends, the people who might be hurt by his decision. He had always been the one to shoulder the burdens, to be strong for others. The idea of causing them pain was almost unbearable.

Try smiling, what are you hesitating for?

Wasn't this the kind of thing you were hoping for?

Or cry instead, what are you scared of?

Wasn't this the kind of thing you'd been wanting?

The life you hoped for, the life you wanted

The life you chose, you achieved everything without regrets

And on top of that, you have a big house, big cars, big rings

All the things you wanted, you've got it all

So what's the problem? Just enjoy it

Or just let it go, no? Then run, or stop

Don't whine, just choose one or the other

- EXCERPT from the song, Interlude: Shadow by Suga/BTS