Let Tomorrow Come (final)

Chapter 3.

JOHN.

I was really angry when I saw her in the rain that day. I just wanted to see her. I even went to Dundee for this. It's good that my father warned me. I wanted to yell at her, shake her by the shoulders and do something else impulsive so that she would understand that this was wrong behavior. My grandmother explained to me since childhood that she was not from our family, and she was accepted out of mercy. And I thought that way for a long time. I didn't like her; an introverted girl who loves to read. My father and mother devoted a lot of time to her, but it seemed to me that she did not express to them the gratitude that she should have. And I really wanted to get attention from them, but there was none. Only my grandmother revolved around me with her instructions. So it seemed to me.

Then I started to get older and had more time to think. Sometimes I behaved disgustingly, but all attention was focused on me, even if I was scolded. Then my grandmother decided to pair me with her friend's granddaughter in order to continue to control my life. And my pseudo-sister seemed like an angel compared to Amber.

I knew everything, but preferred to remain silent. After all, nothing would have changed, and she wouldn't have been kicked out just because I threw a tantrum. I was irritated by her boundless patience. When Amber did the nasty thing of setting Christina's skirt on fire, I tried to dissuade her. But she was determined. I wanted to stop her, but she turned out to be faster. And poor Christina probably thought about me. I felt guilty, but there was nothing I could do to help. And I also began to withdraw.

At the age of fifteen or sixteen, I finally realized that the problem was with my grandmother. Of course, I was offended by my parents, but it was she who protected me from them, because she tried to raise me like a fragile vase, saving me from all adversity. She may have meant well for me, but she wanted to completely suppress me. And this did not fit with my nature. And I didn't hesitate to show it to her at any opportunity. At some point I tried to reconsider my attitude towards everything that surrounded me. To a father who worked a lot. Probably for the same reason that I so wanted to get rid of the pressure of an overbearing and tough grandmother, he preferred to be far from home. To the servants who work in our home. And finally, to HER. She was small and completely defenseless. She wasn't beautiful. At first I tried to offend her, told her all sorts of rude things, but then I realized that I liked something about this unsightly girl. And I am drawn to her. And I couldn't do anything about it. Just like I couldn't find an answer to the question: why? I just decided to stay away from her. But that didn't help much either. She was dating her friend Peter. He was a good guy, but I didn't like it. Some part of me strongly disagreed with this.

Grandma kept forcing Amber on me even after I left the house and I couldn't take it anymore. It seems that during this time she also grew up and became less of a tomboy. She was beautiful, but her beauty did not attract me. I was still drawn to Christina. I decided to just scold her at every meeting, say all sorts of barbs. When she accidentally found out that she was not my mother and father's daughter, she was shocked. And when she realized that everyone knew about it except her, she probably felt betrayed. I was sure of it. I remembered her face when she saw me after that conversation with my grandmother. I couldn't forgive myself. I so wanted to hug and feel sorry for her, but I couldn't do it and just ran away.

I tried to intersect with her as little as possible and every time I was drawn like a magnet. I was quite attractive to girls when I was at university. Studying was easy for me, so I did not disdain dates. I could choose any one, but I couldn't stay with them for a long time. There was something missing in all of them. When I finished studying I moved to Edinburgh. And she studied in Glasgow. So we could be far away from each other. I improved my relationship with my father. It seems that he was happy about it too. After my grandmother left this world, relations between everyone began to improve, but not with HER. She no longer called my father the father and me brother. But I wasn't that for her by fact. I ended up sharing my headache with my father. He sympathized with me and said he didn't think I had much of a chance. We are too different. However, he always told me about her successes, and I rejoiced like a child. That day I couldn't stand it and rushed to Dundee. I recently passed my license and asked my dad to borrow a car that day. He agreed. And then I saw her smiling and wet. She seemed happy. But the rain was freezing, and I was afraid that she would get sick. I took her to the hotel faster. Dad also disapproved of her idea. We made her change clothes and immediately went home. She immediately fell asleep in the back seat. And then it started. I kicked myself for not arriving a little earlier. It would be better if I said a bunch of crap, or, on the contrary, gave vent to my feelings and kissed her, but not this! However, it was impossible to rewind time. She had a fever. Dad carried Christina to her room, and all that was left was to wait. I couldn't find a place for myself. I was ready to sit next to her as long as necessary, but I couldn't give myself away now, so I left it to my father and his passion Aela. It seemed that they would soon get married. But if they feel good together, then I didn't mind. After two days of torment and terrible dreams, I decided to go to the city and find gladioli for her. Neither Claude nor Dad nor she grew them, but she loved flowers, so I got her a bouquet. While she was sleeping, I quietly slipped into the room and placed them on the table. I wanted to be at least a little helpful, even if she didn't know about it. I fell into oblivion. I shuddered and woke up from the rustling of the door, as it seemed to me. But then there was silence. I thought that I had misheard, but then I decided to check. And then I saw HER. She was sitting on the stairs. Her hands were on her knees. She dropped her pale face at them. I couldn't stay away any longer.

I ran down the stairs and carefully picked her up in my arms. She was still too weak:

"I'm thirsty..." She said barely audibly.

"I'll bring it now. You just need to get back to bed," I whispered.

Her hair was so close to my face, I could smell it. And before I put her down, I realized that I seemed to want her. And it was terrible. Now she was liked by me not only mentally, but also physically.