What Makes You Beautiful (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 22

Emma

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I am so mad at myself. "I'm so stupid!" I say to myself. I sat down on my bed, and slammed my head back. I screwed so much up. I love Zayn, but I don't want to hurt his career or him, by not being good enough. My phone starts to ring. It's Zayn. I wasn't about to answer it. I wipe some of the tears that were on my face. "What the heck am I supposed to do?!" I say to no one. My tears are falling hard, and I just let them. My heart hurt. It was like I was ripping myself apart. And I can't even begin to think about how Zayn feels. My phone stops ringing and I have a new voicemail. I unlock my phone and listen to it.

"Emma. It's Zayn. I don't know what to do honestly. I'm so flustered and confused right now. But I'm only worried about you! I want you to be okay! And I want you to know I love you... I love you so much Emma, and I can't be with anybody else..." his voice stops suddenly. I can hear him crying. It only makes me cry harder, thinking about me hurting him.

How can he love me though?! I'm nothing. I scream out in frustration, and bury my face into my pillow. My shoulders shake under my crying body. I just feel like I need to go away. Go away and stop hurting people. I crawl out of my bed, and attempt to change my clothes. It's difficult with my one hand that's not casted. My jeans won't come off. I somehow. Got them unbuttoned, but I can't shimmy myself out of them. "Ahhh!" I scream at myself. I pull my shirt off, and put on an old tie die t-shirt. I want these jeans off though. I go out to my kitchen and grab a pair of scissors. My jeans were mostly on, but the left side was pulled down farther. The last thing I wanted to do right now is cut my jeans, but they were ticking me off to no end. I place the scissors down my left side of my pants. They are cold on my thigh. I start to try to cut, when there is a knock on my door. I jump, causing the scissors to scrap down my thigh."Ouch!" I shout, pulling the scissors out. I go to the door, and open it. "This is really not the best time right now..." I stop when I see Niall standing there. I probably look insane. My pants are partially off, my exposed thigh is bleeding, I have bloody scissors in my hand, and I am crying. He looks concerned.

"Oh my god, Emma!" he says suddenly. He reaches for me, and grabs the scissors. He hugs me. "You don't have to hurt yourself Emma." he says seriously. I hold onto him, soaking up the feeling of protection. "I was trying to cut my jeans off Niall, and you scared the crap out of me when you knocked on my door. I only have one hand, and I don't use this one all the time." I tell him, holing up my left hand. He looks down at my jeans, and blushes. "Sorry las. You scared me!" he says. I shut the door, and look at Niall again. I wipe off my tears and grab a paper towel to help my cut. "Are you doing okay?" he asks me. I shake my head. "Not really... Can you excuse me? It might take awhile but I need to get these things off of me." I tell him. He sits down on the couch, and smiles. "If you need help I'm out here." he says.

I couldn't possibly think about asking Niall to help take off my pants. I go into my room, and push my hand down my pants, and try so hard to tug them off. I reach around and get the other side down somewhat. I step on one end, and start to pull my right leg out. It isn't working to well, but they are gradually coming off. I step on them some more and have them around my ankles. "Haha!" I shout. I pull my right leg all the way out, but my foot gets caught, and I fall over. I land with a loud thud on the ground. I start to laugh, and use my hand to pull them off. My emotions were so confused right now. One moment I was laughing, and the next I was crying uncontrollably again. I grab a pair of cotton shorts, I normally sleep in, and pull them on.

I walk back out to Niall. "You okay? I heard a loud noise and didn't know if I should come help or not." he asks. "Yeah I'm fine." I say. I wet another paper towel, and keep the one I already had, and sit next to Niall on the couch. I put pressure on my cut, and try to wipe the blood off my leg. I sigh. This was going to be an awkward conversation.

"Is he okay?" I ask Niall quietly. Niall has hurt in his eyes. "No. I have never seen him like this. He never usually gets emotional, but... I don't know. He is a mess right now." he tells me. It hurts to hear about Zayn. I try not to look at Niall. "I don't know what to do, Niall. He could choose someone way better than me, and it would make Paul happy, so I don't know why..." he stops me. "Don't say that! Zayn loves you, more than anybody I have ever seen. Just because somebody says you shouldn't be together, doesn't mean you have to listen to them. Take a chance! You and Zayn have so much as a couple. why throw that away for one person?!" he tells me. I don't know what to say. I wanted to take a chance, but if I did, something else may happen. I bury my face into a pillow. "Emma I promise you, that once you just focus on Zayn, and forget abut everything else, you will be so much happier. He will be too. I know it's hard, but what love isn't?" he says softly.

He was right. I just needed to forget everything else, but that was so hard to do! It was like I needed my brain to take a break, and stop filling my mind with these thoughts of what ifs. I sigh and look up at Niall. "Thank you." I whisper.He hugs me again, and I feel myself wanting to cry again, but I just leave it on the inside. "You are a life saver!" I say, jumping up and grabbing my purse and shoes. "Where are you going?" he asks. "Where do you think?!" I laugh and run down my hallway, leaving Niall in my living room. I hear his laughter, as I skip the elevator and run down the stairs.

I sprint to my car and drive as fast as I can to Zayns house.