On the Edge of the World

Chapter 2: Another day in hell

A pounding on my door tore me out from unconsciousness. I was still lying on the ragged carpet, blood smeared on my face and on the floor. 

"Get the hell up!" Dad yelled from the other side. "Stop lazing around and get the fuck up!!" The lock on my door clicked and I knew I was free for now. Wait no. That was a lie. I could never be free. The unlocked door was just 1 problem gone from the rest. 

I slowly pulled myself up onto my elbows. My head was killing me. 

"What the hell are you doing in there!? Get going!!" 

"I'm up." I groaned and stumbled to my feet. "I'll be out in 5." 

"You better be, or I'll fucking kill you!" Dad banged the door again with his fist and I heard him stumble away. I knew I had to hurry, or Dad would give me a hell of a beating. I got up, ignoring my aches and pain, changed into black jeans and t-shirt with a dark grey hoodie over the top. I snatched up my backpack and left my room. I quickly went to the bathroom to wash the blood off my face and to try not look so shitty. 

I was hoping I could sneak into the kitchen to grab something for breakfast. I hadn't had dinner last night and I was starving. My luck was doing pretty shit though. Dad was sitting at the table, blankly staring at the wall. His drunk eyes drifted to me. 

"What the hell do you want?" He growled. 

"Breakfast." I mumbled. 

"Speak up! I can't understand a fucking thing you say if you just mumble to me!" 

"I was about to have breakfast." I said louder lowering my face to the ground as I felt hot tears prick my eyes. 

"I'm not having some ungrateful shit eat my food I work so hard for. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" I jumped and ran out of there. I sprinted out of my house, slamming the door behind me. I ran down the streets, pass the cars, pass the houses. I just had to run all these emotions out of me. It left me so exhausted afterwards, I was too tired to feel anything. 

My hands were shaking hard when I finally stopped. I squeezed them shut and shoved them into my pocket. I needed a smoke. 

I quickly set down my bag and searched for a pack, but I couldn't find it anywhere. I was going to have to make a quick stop at the gas station. I knew this would make me late for school, but let's be honest, fuck school. 

With shaky hands, I put my bag back on and started slowly walking to the gas station. It was a quick 5-minute walk away; I had run pretty far. The gas station was passing the high school I went to. There were teenagers, walking towards it, or hanging out with one another at the front. I gave them a glance and went straight back to ignoring them. 

Before I knew it, I was entering the gas station. There was 18-year-old boy behind the counter, who gave me a suspicious glance when I walked up to him. I read his name tag: Carter. "Can I get a regular pack." I asked him, pointing at the cigarettes behind him. 

Carter studied me with a judging look. "You don't look like you're even old enough to drink. I.D please." 

I pulled out my I.D from my pocket. Carter took it, reading it and glancing at me. He sighed and flicked it back at me, grabbing a pack of cigarettes. "$8.00." 

I gave him a 10, was given a 2 in return and left the station without another word. I went round the back, opening the pack, taking 1 and lighting it. I inhaled the smoke and exhaled it out slowly. That was so much better. 

So, as you might have realized, I'm not 18 yet, meaning it's illegal for me to drink. Well...I struck I deal with some people at school, and they forged a fake I.D for me to use anytime I want. 

I quickly checked the time. It was already 9:30. I ran the rest of the way to school, careful not to accidently choke on the stick. I sprinted into school, down the hall and burst into my 1st period class. 

"Zane, late again. No surprises there." Mr. Smith sighed, not even looking away from the board. "Take a sit and get rid of that cigarette." I flicked it away and took an empty seat at the back of the class. "So, as I was saying before Zane interrupted my class again-" 

A paper ball hit the side of my head followed by muffled laughter beside me. I sighed quietly but didn't take my eyes off the board. I already knew who was bugging me. 

It was Kenny Morgan. A senior jock who played football with his mates and spent his free time picking on me because he had nothing better to do. He was sitting a desk away from me, feet up on the table, chewing gum, his blue eyes dancing with malice. 

"Psst, freak." Kenny hissed. "Was hoping you weren't gonna show today. Had my hopes up that you'd finally take our advice and killed yourself. Want us to do it for you?" I ignored him and tried to focus on what Mr. Smith was saying. 

"Oi, don't you know it's rude to ignore someone?" Kenny leaned over and kicked my chair with his foot. 

"Quit it." I hissed. 

"Zane, please do not talk in my class unless you have a question, or you want another detention." Mr. Smith glared at me. I frowned back at him and sank lower into my seat. Kenny and his friends snickered and giggled quietly. 

"Oi, Zane." Kenny whispered. "Who gave you those bruises? I want to send them flowers." 

"Shut up!" I whispered back at him a little too loudly. 

"And that's an hour after school." Mr. Smith sighed. "See me in my office during recess Zane." Kenny looked like Christmas had come early. He gave me a grin and mouthed the word "Loser" at me. 

The rage in my head was expanding at alarming rate. I groaned frustratedly, got up from my desk, snatched up my bag, and stormed out of class. "And don't come back unless you want a beating!" I heard Kenny yell, horrible, cruel laughter following afterwards. 

I ran out of school not looking back once. This was the third time this had happened to me this week. What the hell was wrong with me? 

I slowed to a stop, and sat on the edge of a curb, biting my thumb nervously. Why did I get treated like shit when everyone else was spoiled rotten? Why was I the one getting the blame from everyone else's fucking mistakes? Why could everyone else feel love when all I could feel was nothing. 

My eyes and heart were burning, but I refused to cry. Now wasn't the time nor place for that. That would just make me a bigger target. I lit another cigar to help calm my nerves; I was shaking like a leaf. 

Blowing smoke into the sky, I considered my options. 

1. I would go back to school, apologize for walking out again, and continue to put up with everyone's bullshit. (Fuck that)

2. I would go back home, pray that Dad was passed out, and spend the rest of the day locked up in my room. (Hell no)

3. I would start work early and hopefully get some good pay tonight. (Sounds good)

I had a part time job down at Sinful Secrets, which I'm not proud to say, is a strip club. I worked as a bar tender there, although sometimes I took over other shifts for...certain...things. It would probably be worse if the pay wasn't so great. I earn up to almost 30 bucks an hour. It wouldn't hurt to pull in a little more cash. 

Tossing my cigarette away, I slowly began walking to the back parts of town, preparing for another night of numbness. 

To be continued...

heyyy, im going to be trying to post a chapter at least once a week. i've still got 1 week of school before a 2-week break, so im hoping i might be able to have some more time to write this out and not rush (doesn't help the fact im making up the story as i go along. i wrote this entire chapter just today😭)

wanna find out what happens next? stick around to find out