It's nights like this when negative thoughts come out to play.
I No longer have a place for this pain to stay.
I'm a prisoner to the negative voice and thoughts in my own head because whenever I tried to voice my demons and fears aloud, No one would listen or ever let me speak.
Self-expression is what I seek.
I've always built myself to live inside of a bottle,
but now I want to be able to let my voice,my opinions, and my thoughts be poured out freely.
This negative thinking, It's weakening me from the inside out.
Maybe that's all I'm really built for in this world,
is to live in doubt.
my optimism in myself is fading,lessening.
I'm still highly insecure of what's forced to stand out to the world,like things that can't be changed in my complexion.
My worst enemies are my mind and what stares back at me whenever I look into my reflection.
People try to live their lives through me as if this is their second life.
I'm tired of always feeling like a failure, like I can never make the ones I love the most proud of me or even look me in the eye.
All they see is wrong,even when I try to do right.
I'm tired of feeling like a failure, like I'm not good enough for none of my friends time.
It seems like they only call when it interests them and benefits for them
other than that, there will be No calls from time to time.
But maybe that's my fault for putting too much care and effort into people who don't want to care as much.
People are closer to each other than they are to you sometimes.
They'll make you feel left out, standing on the sidelines.
And maybe I have built up anger still in me That i need to adjust,
because all I wanted was the truth, and in return I got lies.
Angry words speak soberly as much as drunken words.
Nightmares are only repeating their selves, and continuing to get worst.
At this point I can't tell if I've finally grasped the fact or not that you are no longer here with me on earth,
or if I'm still Running away to keep from re-experiencing that day I went through,
to keep realization from knocking me down in the dirt.
To keep myself from re-feeling that kind of hurt.
I'm nothing but a coward who can't face feelings head-first.
I keep thinking that maybe this is a big nightmare I'm in and you'll be standing there once I awaken,
but for now Darkness is what I've become engulfed in.
A dream world is where I'd like my mind to be taken,
but the realities and the stresses of the real world itself has no way of me escaping.
