Wildflower

1

Help me turn back time
to never see you at all

⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹

PAST

It is the summer of sweet seventeen,

Like last summer, I spent my days at my beach house alone with books around my nose until my mom nagged me to go out to find friends.

Like last summer, I had my birthday at my beach house, alone, doing nothing.

I don't have cake or any celebration with my friends or family-just another day to pass by, only that I turn another year old.

I have to tell you that I'm an only child; it's destined for me since birth that I am always alone, and I have to learn to be alone.

Since childhood, I have learned to play alone.

My mom was embarrassed about it, of course, or pity that I had no friends. My school is far from where I stay during summer, far from my friends and everyone I knew and was close with.

I always heard how much she complained to her friends about how quiet I was and how shy that I didn't have any friends there.

I have looked at myself in the mirror, asking myself if that was my problem, that I didn't have many friends, or if something was holding me back from being free like any other kid I saw at the beach from my bedroom, joining parties and watching fireworks.

As a kid, I always got swept off; I learned that not everyone wants to be your friend.

Yes, they will talk to you, ask you for your help, ask how your holiday was or where you were last summer.

But they won't ask you during summer, asking for random pictures, and won't ask you if you want to join them for a summer trip or free weekend parties.

I always thought maybe I was just an uninteresting person, having no idea how to earn recognition from friends and teachers after everything I do for them.

After years of being alone, I avoid getting too close to any person. I lay on the beach, tanning myself as I watched friends having fun playing volleyball while closing my eyes, hearing the ocean waves from afar and the cold breeze hitting my face.

There is nothing far more good than this.

You can find happiness even when alone; I believe in such a thought.

Even you forgot the distance scream as you open your eyes, "Nothing far better than the-"

"Watch out!"

"Wha-"

Suddenly, the ball hit the sand beside me, spraying sand particles into my eyes.

Everything starts getting rushed here, and I can't even fucking see!

"Fuck" I muttered as I rubbed my eyes like crazy. It stung like hell, and I'm sure it took minutes for me to see clearly.

"I'm so sorry!" A male voice suddenly appeared, making me startled. I tried to open my eyes, but making it hurt more, I could only feel tears build up at the corner of my eyes, "It's my friend's fault; I'll try to talk out of him not to throw the ball too far."

"Yep, I can see you fail to do so," I sneer under my breath, rubbing my eyeballs hard before I feel a warn hand holding my fast gently, I felt a cold breath hitting my eyes untill I felt no sting, "You're okay?"

I take a deep breath before nodding, blinking my eyes as the figure before me gets clearer.

And that was when I could hear my heart skip a beat, so hard that it raced pretty fast as I met the most dreamy dark green eyes in my lifetime.

He brush his jet black hair, watching me down with a massive smile as he chuckled hitting my cheeks, "Are you sure you okay? You look pretty red to me."

I hate him,

I hated how the sun shone through his tan skin, and I thought, how could someone be so beautiful?

"Perfectly fine." I get up, getting far away from his reach, take my towel, and cover my body a little. Suddenly, I started to get embarrassed and didn't even notice how red my face was.

My hair probably looks worse right now, and like any woman out there, I don't want a guy like him looking at me like this.

He smiles at me again, making his eyes disappear before returning to his volleyball, "You live here?"

I only shook my head, "just stay for the whole summer," I said, and he only nodded.

I noticed his eyes spark when he talked; I wondered when I could see that again.

We stood in front of each other for a while, making eye contact without a blink, before he brushed his hair back awkwardly, holding the ball tightly, "Well, see you again..."

"Violet"

"See you again, Violet," He said in a low voice, walking another step before he decided to turn back on me, stole my breath the second our eyes met, "My name is Lucas!"

Lucas, the boy, is the one who stole my heart.

Lucas is the boy who will live in my mind for years.

Lucas is the boy who will make my stomach fill with butterflies.

Lucas is the boy who I will genuinely love.

Lucas is the boy who is going to teach what heartbreak feels like.

Seventeen-year-old, I knew nothing about the future; she would smile at his small gesture before heading to her home, knowing that he would watch her from afar.

⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹