Bygone Hotel

Chapter 1: Welcome

"Hello! And Welcome to Bygone Hotel!" 

"Who are you? Where did you come from? What is your past?"

"No one cares! "

(Applause)

"Why you may ask? Because everyone here shares one thing in common and now so do you."

"We cannot leave this city. "

"Go ahead, try. We all have at least once."

(Laughter)

"For reasons beyond our understanding, no resident of this town can go past the barrier--whether you're one of our founders or you're a tourist who wandered into the barrier by accident looking for directions. "

"But don't fret! There are some perks in this plain of existence! "

(Happy tune plays)

"Firstly; you're forever the age you are! You cannot age here!"

"Secondly; Hunger is nonexistent! In fact, food is a luxury here if you want to feel like you're normal and not in limbo!"

"Thirdly; the longer you stay, the more likely you are to develop paranormal abilities or adopt new physical features! You could have mind reading abilities by next week, you never know in this city!"

"Fourthly.... is that even a word?... I don't know;  You can meet people from a variety of different eras or time here! From the mid 1800s on anyways--don't expect Vikings here!"

"Also, here are some new rules here in this plane of this hellish limbo."

(Booing)

"I know, I know. But you can't have the rose without its thorns ladies and gentleman."

"First off: Promises here are always kept. You make a deal or swear to accomplish something--whatever curse that keeps us here will force you to honor it. So keep that in mind you swear to your mother that you will do the dishes tonight."

"Secondly; even though we can't die of age--there's still plenty of ways to die here! Murder, plagues, suicide--just to name a few. So keep your wits about you!"

"And lastly, this city is run by our  mayor, Luther Morningstar. However just because we have a mayor doesn't mean that there's democracy. This city has a collection of mini mayors we like to call Overlords. They don't trump Luther Morningstar but they still have enough sway to make your limbo even more hellish."

"Anyways, that's enough from me. Welcome to Bygone Hotel! Your temporary home to warm you to the waters of this new existence! This is Alastor Hartfelt, and thank you for listening! Au Revoir!"

"That was..." Charlie searches for the right words as Alastor stands proudly by the radio, his iconic grin never faltering. 

"Corny? Over da top? Boring? Who da hell listens to radio anymore? Take your pick," AngelDust says unashamedly with a shrug of his shoulders, his eight eyes half lidded in boredom. 

"I think you fail to understand that this is the proper medium to express oneself," Alastor says, his deer ears flattening as he walks over to the TV and smashes it with his microphone cane, "Not this noisy picture box."

"Alastor! What the hell!" Vaggie snapped while throwing a bottle of water in his direction which the deer man dodges with a tilt of his head. "I bought that tv set for this fucking hotel!"

"Hmm," Alastor shrugs, not caring as he begins to walk away, "Here's the issue. That sounds like a you based problem, not mine. Anyways, I did my part for promoting this hotel. If you wanted a drab form of promotion then look to someone else."

As the radio wendigo walks away, Charlie rubs her temples and sighs as Husk passes her a cup of vodka, "Told ya you should've kept it a secret from him."

"I know," Charlie groans and sips the liquid gingerly as it burns down her throat. "He just seemed so excited when I told him we were making an ad."

"And now we're stuck with this," Vaggie rolls her eye as she crosses her arms, her greyish skin turning a tinge pink in her frustration, "As if we didn't need more reason for people to laugh at us..."

"Lets play it again," the small maid Alastor hired for them named Nifty speaks up, pressing the rewind button, "Maybe its better the second time."