Are You Serious??

Untitled Part 1

Good morning and thank you for coming out to interview with me today. Why don't you start by telling us your name?

But of course, my name is Nicolaitanes Ignatius Balac. [He flashes a smile.]

Please tell us a little about yourself.

Well, I was born and raised in Rome, Italy. I am a direct descendent of Roman Emperor Nero Germanicus. I am currently the President of Italy.

Very impressive, Nicolaitanes. May I call you Nicolai for short?

I suppose. [He fidgets in his seat before crossing his legs.]

Thank you, Nicolai. Where you always in politics before becoming President?

No, I actually own and run an architectural design company. We design everything from custom homes to extravagant office buildings.

That's interesting. So how did you get from architecture to politics?

I have always been interested in the political field. So when I was offered the position of President I was honored. Offered the position of President.

Don't you mean that you killed the previous President so that you could become President? [Wipes the little beads of sweat off of my forehead. All of the little hairs on the back of my neck rise up.]

[He laughs maniacally.] You should really be careful of saying such things. [He leans in towards me menacingly.] Besides, if I am capable of such atrocities who's to say that you will get out of here alive. Hmmm.[He sits back in his chair and glances down at his watch.] But I will allow you to live as you amuse me. [He's quiet for several minutes.] Yes, I killed President Adamo Ricci. The man was pathetic.

But wasn't he your friend?

[He snickers.] I wouldn't exactly say that we were friends, more like acquaintances. He outlived his usefulness.

Wow, if you treat your friends like that I would hate to see what you do to your enemies. [The room is deathly quiet for a moment. I look to see how far the nearest exit is just in case I need it.] Well, let's move on. [I take a deep breath and slowly let it out.] So why did you want to become President? Did President Adamo Ricci not do a good enough job?

Honestly, he did a wonderful job with Italy. The only thing is that he didn't have a big enough vision of what all he could do to help the people of Italy. I on the other hand, have great plans in store for Italy.

Really. Can you elaborate?

Well, I could tell you but then I would have to kill you. [He laughs.] Relax, I'm just kidding around. I don't intend on remaining President long, I have much bigger plans in store. I'm going to not only save Italy but I am going to save the entire world.

You're going to save the entire world? From what exactly?

From complete and utter destruction. We are at war you know. You silly humans are going to destroy each other and the earth if I don't intervene.

[I lean forward in my seat confused.] Wait a minute, what do you mean you silly humans? Aren't you also a man?[He grins from ear to ear.]

Oh, I'm sorry. It was a simple slip of the tongue. I mustn't get ahead of myself. Forget I said anything.

[I look at him strangely but keep my thoughts to myself.] You are already so successful in life, Nicolai. What more could you possibly want?

Why to be ruler of the entire world of course. Who wouldn't want to be? Imagine the possibilities. If I were in control of the entire world, we would not be in the predicament that we are in currently.

[rolls eyes] Another lunatic trying to take over the world.

Pardon me? What did you just say? [He looks at me with pure hatred emanating from his eyes.]

[I start to get up and ease towards the door. Perhaps I should not have said that last thing out loud.][My heart is pounding now and I'm trying to calm my nerves while I walk a little closer to the door.] I have one last question for you Nicolai. What are your views on God and how does He fit in with your daily tasks as President?

[He growls at me with a vengeance I've never before seen from anyone; almost beast-like.] God? I don't consult with Him. [He's talking to me now through gritted teeth. He's quite upset now.] I'm sorry, but I think this interview is over! [He gets up and storms towards the door. He stops just before the door and turns back towards me.] Are you one of the meddlesome Christians?

I wouldn't say that I was meddlesome, but yes I am a Christian.

Well, good luck with that in the upcoming months. There are things that you are going to have to endure that you haven't even begun to dream of. [He says threateningly.]

I'm sorry Nicolai, but are you threatening me? [I calmly reach for my cell phone.]

No, it's a promise! [He turns and walks out the room slamming the door behind him.]

Okay, I'm a little nervous now. There is more to Nicolai than meets the eye. Just who is Nicolai really?