Love is Dark

Cap.1 Rachel Roth

I am Rachel Roth, growing up as a Roth made me special or maybe not?
Who knows if it's a curse or a blessing...

For me i believe it's a curse.
Being a Roth made me realise many things in life.
It's not that i prefer to be someone else but, why me?

My grandma used to say our family is cursed and that's why my mom took me away from everyone, she hid me from the world until i turned 10 years old.
She said i was making her life terrible so she send me to church, where the nouns took care of me and i would barely see my mom.
You might be wondering where my dad was in the middle of this all.
Well the truth is--i never met him-- not that i dont wanted, but my mom said he was the devil on earth so i never cared to look for him.
I never understood why my mom hid me from the world and kept me locked behind a small room with only a bed and a small mirror.
She said i was too noisy but i never heard anything.

Until i started to grow older,older and older enough to understand why i was special.
Once i turned 16 i was tired of always doing the same thing over and over again, the nouns for some reason were afraid of me, they would look me weird and never make eye contact, the longest they would stay around me was about 5 minutes. Why were they so afraid of me? i was always wondering.
One day the noun came with my food.
_Here is your breakfast,Miss.Roth._She said putting the plates and the cup of tea on the table next to the small window.
_Can i go out?_I asked, it's not that i didn't ask before, of course i did, but they wouldn't let me, the first nights i would scream for my mom who never came to look after me.
The noun didn't answer for a moment.
_I just wanted to see the sun._I said looking at her, who had her hands shaking for some reason.
_Your mom is coming this evening you can question her._She quickly left the plates and went back out closing the huge door made out of wood and all i could heard was the locker.
Would i ever go out?
i wondered everyday and sometimes i wanted someone to save me, but i knew this hope couldn't be true and the world didn't even know about my existence.

And again my mom didn't come to check on me, she couldn't care enough about me.
After waiting and waiting i turned 17 and like all the other days i was locked in that room waiting for something to happens or just waiting my end.
However once i turned 17 the walls were talking to me more often than before, the mirror would also talk to me and it seemed like i was not alone in that room anymore.
For the next days the desire to go out was bigger than never and suddenly there was voices telling me to do something crazy.
I looked in the mirror for the first time in years and all i saw was a monster, there was when i realise why my mom never came to look after me.
That night i didn't sleep, i waited for the noun the whole night, i couldn't close my eyes.
And then she came.
My eyes were seeking for that moment and i felt like a monster for the first time in years.
She screamed and once i saw the door open i ran as fast as i could.

I didn't know where i was going,but i was running and i never felt so alive.

i saw the sun, i saw cars, the flowers, buildings, clothes, animals...i saw everything, and for a moment i felt like i was dreaming.
However the good moments goes by fast and once i realised i was lost and knew nothing about the world i found myself alone and worried about who i was.
All i had was that black jacket that my mom gave me the last time she saw me.
So once more i was hiding myself.
I had no idea who i was or what i wanted.
i was just running away.

Until i became someone that people were looking for.
I saw posters with my face.
I saw people talking about a missing girl.

They said i was dangerous.
And then i saw my mom in an interview.
She looked younger each time, she was dressing nice clothes and there was a little boy next to her.
"_Is she your daughter?"_The man with the microphone asked and without hesitation she answered.
"_No i just used to take care of her, until i saw what she could do, she is a monster!"_she said with the coldest look she had.
And at that time i accepted the fact that i was a monster.
I felt anger and betrayal when looking at her.
She was smiling and i couldn't see any regret in her words.
Suddenly someone pushed me against the wall and they were holding a gun to me.
_Give me everything you have._He screamed and i turned looking at him._You..._He seemed shocked once he realised i was the girl missing.
_You are coming with me!_He grabbed my arm.
_Leave me alone._I pushed him away and once more he pointed the gun to me.
_Do what i say and i won't hurt you!_He said out loud.
"Kill him." i heard the whisper and i didn't feel like me anymore, i looked in the reflection of the glass behind me and that wasn't me.
My eyes were black and my skin was pale than ever, it had a malicious smile on its face and it whispered "kill him"
The man started to scream, like the noun.
_You are a monster!_he screamed but it was already late.
There was a black shadow coming out of my body and i felt hungry than never.
I saw the man getting away from the ground, he was screaming but i didn't stop.
It was not me.
But i didn't try to stop.
I saw his head being smashed against the glass wall and there was blood everywhere, people screaming and i heard horns and noises everywhere.
_PUT HIM DOWN._someone screamed but i couldn't move my body._IF YOU DON'T PUT HIM DOWN WE WILL SHOOT!_that was all i heard before seeing some smoke take over the place.
. . .