Naked in the Forest

it's not food

I woke up as the sun shone through my window.

"Good morning, buddy."

I carefully stepped off my bed and petted my dogs head. He is the sweetest.
I opened my closet, looking for a warm cape to put over my jacket. The winters' weather can be hard to handle in Norway.
I tied my brown hair up to slip on my hat. I don't remember when I last cut them. Or if i ever did. The length now almost arrived to the end of my back in thick waves.

"Do you want some breakfast, Tapt?"

I unhooked the leash and let him come down with me in what you'd define a kitchen.
I opened the chest where i kept my food. I digged with my hand and pulled out a single turnip. That's all that was left in addition to all the meat. I looked down at Tapt.

"We'll share."

I gave him a half, and he ate. He never complained about anything. He was the only one i could count on. I sat down and ate, thinking about how miserable my meals have became. I was tired and decided i had to clear my mind.

I grabbed some bullets from a cabinet i had in the biggest room of the house. That's where i kept most of my stuff. The rifle, the jars all filled in different syrups and jams, my shovel, the animals' skins to dry, and shoved in a corner an old sofa. next to it, a small table with a candle and a shelf with books. My favorite one was open on the table. I loved 'Lord of the Flies'.

"You're excited, aren't you?"

I patted Tapt's head and opened the door. He sprinted outside as soon as i stepped out, his white dense fur mixing with the snow under my sight.
I shook my head. He'll come back, i know it. That was just the routine of another daily hunting session with my buddy.
I began walking, and he came right back next to me. It was weird since he usually likes to run around and search for prey.
I haven't catched a single animal in two weeks, I was getting worried.
No, there's no need to. I convinced myself good enough that most animals hide from the cold, and that was the reason my hungting wasn't fulfilling.

I soon enough got hungry for lunch and decided to go back to eat, Tapt following me.
The path was opened as my previous steps had flattered the snow.

I got in and opened the chest one mkre time. I roasted a small hare, a male, probably a cub. That wasn't too good since hare meat tends to lose its juicices if cooked on fire, but Tapt didn't mind it being a little tough to chew.
I left the fire on to try to heat the house, but it didn't work so well.
I wrapped the meat I left uncooked in some skin and put it back for tomorrow.

The afternoon was boring.
I decided against going outside since the sky goes dark too soon these months. A great occasion to take some time in reading and sewing.
I took some dog wool, which I had skilfully spun with the hair my dog changed through the seasons.
I had enough to make something close to a small blanket.

"the favor returns to you, what's better than getting back your fur? At least you'll be warm, bud."

I sat on the sofa and began knotting the strands together in a way that I invented myself, since no one ever taught me.
I left Tapt sit on my feet. Feeling his warmth always made me happy, it made me feel less alone.

I was halfway through making that damn blanket when it happened. Again.

I ran to the window of my room as soon as the thud echoed. Tapt barked, scared of maybe protective of me.

"FAEN!"

I swore.
I walked slowly down the stairs. I headed to the main room and grabbed the shovel. I opened the entrance. It was dark outside, but i knew. I knew exactly where to go. I looked down, and there was it.

Tapt sniffed carefully from behind me.

"It's not food."

I moved him out of the way, he didn't deserve to see. I inspected the dead body.
Again.
Long brown wavy hair, a crooked nose, hollow cheeks, deep green eyes filled in blood. No clothes to cover his pale and skinny body. Small hands and a single mole on his left collarbone.
That's it. Me again.

I looked up in the dark forest in front of me.
I grabbed the body, pulling it from an arm into the trees, and again, digged a hole.
I crumpled that pile of flesh back on itself to get it into that hole.
I wanted to go to sleep.
I looked back, Tapt was back into our home. I'm thankful he's obedient.
I looked at him for a second before throwing a final shovelful of soil over the pit.
I looked up at the trees again, then turned my back.

I walked over the bloodstained snow back into my house.
I closed the door and took off my boots, trew the shovel back into that dark room, and headed to my room.
Tapt was nowhere to be seen, but i ignored it and went to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up as the sun shone through my window.