a second chance in love

Chapter 41

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When my time comes around
Lay me gently in the cold dark earth
No grave can hold my body down
I'll crawl home to her

— Work Song by Hozier

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When the Princess of Wales died tragically in a car accident, not only did the House of Windsor fall apart, but so did the whole of Britain. The loss of a princess, so young and compassionate, was deeply felt by everyone. For days to no end, she has been the talk at dinner tables. And with every pain caused by intense grief, people began to talk about the royal family— particularly her husband, Charles. People began to condemn his ways, blaming him for the death of his wife, disregarding the fact that he, too, is grieving alongside the public. And though Charles couldn't fault the people, after emerging from his disappearance to the public, he dreaded attending meetings, dinners, ribbon cuttings, and all other engagements when all eyes were on him, laced with either pity or criticism. He detests both.

He wasn't a fool like how Anne thought he was. As if the resemblance between his daughter and his late wife was something he could just brush off so easily. But between grieving and dealing with the public, he couldn't bring himself to linger more than a minute at the possibility of Adeline being Diana's and not Camilla's— as much as how he'd love that. He never spoke to the woman unless the matter was about his daughter.

And so, just like every other evening, Charles sleeps at night in hopes of dreaming about his beloved. Yearning for the love he failed to cherish. He deluded himself that one day, one night, the universe would allow him to touch and be able to feel his wife as if she were still in his arms. To be able to taste those lips of hers as if she was still here with him, with them.

Crazy enough, the universe might have really conspired with the deities and listened to his pleas because ever since he stepped foot on his wife's childhood home in an attempt to flee from whatever Camilla was plotting, Charles felt his wife's presence. It could've been caused by the massive portrait hanging in the drawing room commissioned by the Spencers after her death, or perhaps it's simply because this was the place where little Diana grew to be the woman that she was. The place she once called home, among others.

Back then, his nights ultimately led to many tears and panic attacks after waking up from a dream about his wife. Although recently, his dreams have been... comforting despite it being somehow more vivid compared to his dreams in the past. And rather than causing anguish, Charles would wake up feeling slightly different, albeit in a positive way.

What baffles him is the intensity of his dreams and how frequently show up in similar forms ever since his first night at Althorp. 

"I'm so sorry," she would whisper. "You've been through so much already." she normally wouldn't but this night, Diana allowed herself to stroke his cheeks with one hand as the other softly fiddled with his fingers. Charles felt it.

She was warm, so warm that Charles was almost convinced himself that what happened was just some absurd dream and the reality was this, with Diana sitting next to his bed.

But it wasn't.

This Diana is merely a fragment of his imagination and Charles knew better.

And with that in mind, Charles allows himself to drown in the comforting presence of this dream. Indulging in a fantasy about something he greatly yearned for rather than contemplating the possibility that something else might be the case.