ℝ𝔼𝕃𝔼𝔸𝕊𝔼 𝕄𝔼 || 𝟙𝟠 +

1. 𝔽ℝ𝔼𝔼𝔻𝕆𝕄

"i'm so glad you're finally leaving" my mom screamed across the hall as i zipped up my suitcase. "you were becoming a burden anyway" i couldn't contain it anymore. tears began streaming down my face and my lip quivered as i tried my best to stop my eyes from watering. this isn't the first time she's shouted at me like this. my mom, Gill Ross, was an alcoholic and after my dad died, she only seemed to get worse. she blamed me for everything and along with that she physically, emotionally and mentally abused me. i don't really understand why but i'm sure it's because there's something wrong with me.

i shut the front door and i could still hear her shouting at me. i quickly wiped my face with a paper towel i found in the kitchen and climbed into the uber. "are you okay miss?" the uber driver questioned, concerned due to the redness of my eyes. "i'm fine, thank you" i replied, with a quick smile so that he wouldn't know that i was indeed not okay. he smiled back through the car mirror and started the engine.

i glanced outside the window at my childhood home, filled with good and bad memories but mostly bad. i'm so glad i finally got out of that shithole, i couldn't take it any longer. The drive to the airport was about an hour and a half long so i decided to listen to some music.

daddy issues by the neighbourhood playing

i softly sniffled as i went through my pinterest.
i wish my life was like this i thought to myself. I looked out the window and the music played in my ears. i know that you've got daddy issues - well actually mommy issues but yea. I've always felt a deep connection to this song and somehow every time i listen to the song, i forget all about my miserable life. it's just me, the song and my airpods.

I took a nap, boy was i tired. i hadn't slept in days and every time i did try to, my mom would scold me for being "lazy" and that a woman my age shouldn't be sleeping that much. I understand that my mom had a rough childhood back in Scotland, she had to work long hours in a barn, take care of her other four siblings and most importantly bring food on the table. i never knew my grandparents because they died when my mom was only 7, therefore making her an orphan along with the triplets and my uncle Sam who was only 3 at the time. When she finally got the chance to come to America, she met my dad. After 3 years of knowing each other they had me and then my dad was diagnosed with cancer. My mom was devastated and she tried to distract me from what was happening the best she could but then when i was 13, i had to go the principals office where it finally dawned on me that my dad was gone.

"we're here miss!" the uber driver said as i softly rubbed my eyes. "i also hope you enjoyed your nap" we both smiled as he helped me get my luggage out the boot. I gave him a soft pat on his back and made my way through the airport doors, quickly checking to make sure i had all my documents with me. saying i was scared of airport security was an understatement, i was fucking terrified. what if i get arrested i thought to myself. i hesitantly continued with the process and soon realised that it wasn't that bad, damn i wish i wasn't such an over thinker.

"finally" i softly whispered to myself as i made myself comfortable in my seat. i was sitting right by the window, my favourite. it was going to be a long flight to Geneva, 22 hours to be exact. i can't wait to see Olivia, we haven't seen each other since she left Brentwood for Switzerland a year ago. She was a year older than me and she practically begged me to apply to Oakwood because that's where she goes.
i carefully browsed through the endless selection of movies and shows before finally decided to watch 'Crazy Rich Asians'.

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