As I traipse through the lush green of Peppa's World of Play, a rotund figure the palest shade of pink emerges, blocking my peripheral. At the sound of the obnoxious panting, I turn to take in the specimen; she is as large as a hot air balloon. I would be concerned that she may send herself into orbit, however the weight of her gut alone anchors her to the hilly terrain.
"Oink" the beast grunts, shifting their voluptuous weight from side to side, resembling some nauseating amusement park ride from heaven. My life flashes before my eyes, legs quivering as the troll makes its way over to my dwarfed frame. Holding eye contact, the large creature approaches, and I'm surprised she can see me considering I had a salad for lunch; good look finding my waist heifer.
