𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲 | 𝐀𝐝𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐍𝐨 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐀𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐨𝐫

I. Toxic Relationships

Alright, here's the thing:  Romantic relationships aren't the only toxic ones. 

You can have a toxic relationship with friends, family members, your dog that ate your shoe, or your cat that scratched your eye out. Aye, who am I to judge? 

It's not very hard to figure out when your relationship has become toxic. All you gotta do is look at your actions, and then theirs. "Actions speak louder than words," is one of my favorite sayings of all time. 

In my eyes, words mean nothing. You could tell me everything I wanna hear and still treat me like the dry fish sticks nobody liked at school. 

Actions tell you who somebody really is and what they think. No one who cares about you is gonna treat you like fish sticks. Just ask yourself, are you getting treated like fish sticks??

Yeah? Me too. 

The reality of it is, you can give someone your all and they're still going to do whatever they want regardless of how you feel. If you feel like you're annoying or repetitive to them just because you say something or send a text, that's a sign of something toxic. 

Or maybe you're just worried about boring them because of past experiences or insecurities. 

You gotta pay attention to how people make you feel. You shouldn't feel useless, unworthy, or like a last thought. These are just a few examples. Don't even get me started on feeling like an option, 'cause I'll never stop. 

Am I making sense yet??

 ...Nah? Ok. Dayum. 

Point 2: Begging for attention

This is a HUGE no-no. We don't do this ever, no matter who it is, or what it is. 

If you ever feel like you're begging for someone's attention... something's wrong. A healthy relationship with anyone will always be give and take. For example: I give you my attention 24/7 and you give me yours. 

It should never be this: I give you my attention 24/7 and you ignore me, never put in any effort, or genuinely don't care. 

Some of y'all may be familiar with the popular "always text first" relationship. For those who are not, it's when the only time you talk to a person is when you text first. Not even just texting, if you're always the one reaching out period. 

I know firsthand how it feels, because I'm dealing with this from a friend right now. Why am I not practicing what I preach?

Don't ask and mind your beeswax. In the kindest way possible of course <3. 

Now back to you. The best advice I can give for this, is to wait. What I mean by that is, wait a week or two. And maybe even a month if you're brave, and don't reach out first. 

I know it will be hard to do, but the ending result will give you the answer that you need. In a way, it's a form of discipline. Maybe they're used to you being the one to reach out first, so they sit back and relax. If you take that away and they reach out to you, you're in the green. Unless it's for some stupid stuff like money, food, etc. Then you're in blood red.

If they don't reach out first and, on your calendar, it's been a while... I'll buy the tissues and pay for your therapy. 

I actually did try this out once and it worked. So, score. Maybe it'll work out for you too. 

Like I said before, I'm just a girl goin' through the same things and trying to help people out. I could be completely, absolutely, and blatantly wrong. These are just my opinions and advice I would give to someone I care about. 

Whelp, that's it for this chapter. Lemme know if you want a part 2 'cause I do listen and have nothing else to do. 

What did Y'all think about this chapter, or the book itself so far? On a scale of "you should never touch a keyboard again" to "it's good." 🤨