Love Isn't as Easy as the Books

Part 15

 She was a Conqueror, she saw something she wanted and she took it. Nothing could stand between Katie and what she wanted, and what she wanted was me, even if I didn't.

"Becky?" Freen asked as she walked back into the bedroom, but the other half of the bed was empty. Muffled, quiet voices were coming from the living room.

"What do you want?" Becky asked, immediately regretting the decision to pick up the phone.

"What I'm not allowed to call up one of my favorite playmates?" Kuvira asked. "I'm hurt."

"No you fucking don't," Becky said. She was telling, yelling at, herself to hang up the damn phone, but she couldn't, like always when it came to Kuvira she was paralyzed.

"Look pumpkin, all I want to do is get a cup of coffee."

"No. I don't have anything else to say to you."

"Come on, it's just a cup of coffee," Kuvira said. "You still doing that writing thing right? I bet you still need plenty of caffeine. And I'm only in New York for a couple of weeks."

Becky sighed heavily.

"I'll make it worth your while if you say yes."

"Fine."

"Tomorrow, three, you know where The Tea Nation is?"

"Yeah."

"See you there pumpkin."

Becky hung up, not entirely sure how to feel. What the hell was going on? Why was Kuvira calling her at all? Doesn't she remember how things ended? Doesn't she remember how she ended it?

"Becky? Everything ok?"

Tell her, she'll be ok with it. Tell her what? Tell her that my controlling ex, the one that broke me is in town and wants to get coffee and like a big fucking idiot I agreed because I can't say no to her? How the fuck do you think that's going to go over?

"Yeah," Becky sighed.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Whatever it is, you know I'll be here for you, right?" Freen said, draping her arms around Becky's shoulders.

And that was what hurt the most, knowing that Freen was right, but Becky couldn't bring herself to tell her. Perhaps it was out of fear of her old life. Perhaps it was because of who Kuvira was. Or maybe it was that unrecognizable fear that Becky knew she was better, she was stronger, more stable, not depressed, when she was with Kuvira, before Freen entered her life. Back then everything was simple and it was better then, wasn't it?

Becky didn't sleep well that night. Her mind was plagued with fears, anxiety, and worries that she could be better than she was if any number of What If scenarios came to pass.

"Katie... I don't know about this," I said. "We can't do this here, we're going to get caught."

The superior officer stood in front of me, her height adding to the position of power over me. Her confident smile, the glint in her green eyes was nothing short of commanding. "Relax there private pumpkin. As long as we are quick, we shouldn't get caught."

"Katie..." I tried to give voice to a complaint, a reservation, something to convey the feeling that having a quickie in the barracks, in the middle of the day, while the squad was on maneuvers was going to end badly. We'd get caught and the punishment would probably be quite severe.

"Look, Chloe, it will be fine. Promise," Katie said, her eyes unmoving, unblinking. Some kind of strength came out of it, or something that felt like strength. "Now Private, your commanding officer is ordering you to take off these damn pants."

Suppressing a shiver I nodded.

The next day, Becky sat in the coffee shop staring at the steam wafting off the mug of coffee, foot tapping a nervous tattoo into the floor.

She was focused so hard on the coffee that she wasn't drinking that she didn't notice Kuvira until she had arms around her and kissed her neck from behind.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Becky yelled, almost ripping herself out of Kuvira's grip.

"Jesus pumpkin," Kuvira said. "What made you so fucking jumpy all of a sudden?"

Becky had so many things to respond to in that sentence, but she couldn't speak because her heart was currently lodged in her throat and she couldn't breathe much less speak.

"Nice hair," Kuvira said as she sat across the table from Becky. She crossed her long legs, and her foot rested against the inside of Becky's knee.

Becky shifted uncomfortably in her seat, unable to fully get away from Kuvira's touch.

"What are you doing in New York?" Becky asked.

"I've been stationed here for a bit. I got a promotion and now I'm working under General Beifong," Kuvira answered proudly. "It shouldn't be long before I have her job though. Or maybe I'll move over to the D.O.D. or something. Who knows, at this point the world is my oyster. What about you little Becky, you still doing that writing thing?"

"Yeah," Becky said tersely.

"Oh that's nice," Kuvira said with a condescending tone that made Becky just want to punch her right in the face. "It's still a shame that you dropped out of the military academy. You could have made such a good soldier. You always did rock the camo, and your abs, when you had them, were always things of beauty. But I see you've gotten soft in the years we've been apart."

Becky scowled.

"What have you been up to pumpkin?"

"Well I published a book not too long ago. And then I was shot three times in the chest saving my girlfriend from a terrorist group," Becky snapped, making sure to put extra emphasis on the girlfriend part.

"Holy shit," Kuvira said. "You ok?"

"It was like six months ago, so yeah I'm fine now," she snapped. But Kuvira's face had softened.

"I'm sorry, I... I didn't know."

"Yeah, you wouldn't."

"Becky, really, I'm sorry. Are you ok? I'm trying to be sincere here. I still care about you, when everything is said and done."

And like that, like trying to hold water in her hands, Becky's anger slipped away.

"I'm better than I was," Becky muttered back. Now she felt bad for being so short with Kuvira. "But it hasn't been easy."

"You're pretty strong, you'll get through it," Kuvira said reaching across the table and grasping Becky's hands.

She appreciated the gesture but Becky didn't feel like being touched, she pulled her hands out of Kuvira's.

"So tell me about this new girl," Kuvira asked with a wry little smile. "Has she figured out that thing you do when you nibble on your hip bone?"

"What?"

"Oh my god, have you not even slept with her yet?"

Becky just glared at Kuvira.

"You're right, that was inappropriate. Sorry," she said, standing up. "Look, I've got some stuff to take care of. We should get dinner sometime."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

Despite all of the shit Kuvira did, all of the weirdness in that conversation, talking to her made Becky feel like a teenager again. Happy, full of life, free from worry, and just alive again. The memories of times before all of the shit she went through, all of the heartache, the pain, the depression filled her. She just didn't realize she was regressing, slipping back into bad habits.