Fuck Being a Girl

Lao Tzu

Lao Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher, once said, "Care about what other people think, and you shall always be their prisoner."

And as the founder of Taoism and someone who had such a great impact on Chinese culture and history, I think that's bullshit. It is scientifically impossible that a man who lived hundreds of years ago and who I hadn't heard of before this quote, could compete against my everyday life. What I see and hear and feel each day as a teenage girl. In snow white, the old evil witch is portrayed as hideous, snow white isn't. She's young and beautiful and gentle. While walking down the street I will look up at different billboards and see pictures of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life. To the point where when I don't see those women, I think that's weirder than when I do. At school you can practically hear the whistles of the boys who think they're quietly catcalling someone else. The girls joking about the perverted comments boys made on their bodies. You hear rumors of who did what and who said what about who, all the time. You could be home alone with absolutely nobody else around you and scroll through any source of social media not just those deemed "toxic" and "promoting unrealistic beauty standards" and find that not a single person there has one flaw. And if they do, you forget them because who are they to have a place in your mind. 

So I apologize to Lao Tzu but I personally don't think he has the biggest right on what he chooses to infiltrate into my brain unless he is a teenage girl in the 21st century. If people say that the beauty standards are unrealistic and impossible, then who are those girls I see walk past me every single day in the halls. 

And if it turns out Lao Tzu is right, well, then I have been living in a prison my entire life, and so has everybody else, so really nobody has been living in a prison, so that's bullshit. You know because it's easy to tell others to not care about what others say and to hide secret inspirational meaning subtly or unsubtly behind a bunch of fancy words but, it gets realer when you hear and when you join other people in talking bad about someone else. You wished they cared more about what others thought because it was embarrassing to even be around them. You wanted them to change themselves. Their carefree attitude doesn't inspire you but urge you to insult them behind their back and sometimes to their face. 

We've all heard that "don't care about what others think" and, "You do you" and, "Just be yourself." We've seen it promoted in children's movies and books and as much as I would kill for that to sink in, it's gotten to the point where it just slides off. It's gotten to the point where it's blended with all the other shit adults say. 

And you know, my mind is backwards because I think everybody that thinks just like this too knows that they are thinking immaturely. Or at least I do. It's the childish thoughts of black and white, of zero empathy for the people trying to normalize this message. Of the wrong quotes being glamorized. Of people actually trying to change the world and me diminishing them to "just shit all adults say." I know I would be happier if I didn't care. I know because sometimes, very rarely, once every year, for two minutes, I don't. I don't care, and it feels liberating and amazing. And then I do care again, and I watch videos people recorded of me when I wasn't caring and I looked stupid. So what used to happen yearly, now happens every 730 days. 

So in a way, Lao Tzu is right. No, Lao Tzu is right in all ways, we are all prisoners. But being right doesn't change someone's mind. Not when their mind has been wired to work this way since they were learning how to read those children's books where the villains were all ugly, and the heroes were perfect. Not when they grew up with those movies about beautiful princesses and ugly monsters. Not when they scroll through social media to find only what the app has promoted being beauties, because even the algorithm itself knows the best way to make money is to push the normal people down. Not that the "pretty" people don't change with every culture, are subjective, and usually have filters on without mentioning it. It's hard to change someone's mind when it has been wired to work this way since they walked through those busy halls of their school to see hundreds of students who fit and don't fit, who care and don't care, as they all merge into one, for the first time. Only highlighting the best of the best. It's hard to change someone's mind when it has been wired to work this way every single day of their life. Out of more than the 8 billion people, it's crazy how I haven't found one that can change my mind. I guess I have to do it myself, but, for some reason I've already convinced myself I can't. So I guess I can't.

Point being, unless Lao Tzu shrunk 100 years in age, and turned into a girl, and teleported to our time, I can't take his words validly. So I guess I am a prisoner, aren't I.