The Queen's Half

Chapter 7

Kiss me

"We've picked up their trail along the border. It seems that they've crossed into the Eastern Kingdom, near Dartax," General Saluk reported, pointing out the pack on the map.

I nodded along, "Be sure to alert their alpha," I said, my voice strained.

"Of course, your majesty." He stood, collecting his papers off of my desk. "Please get some rest, Selene," Saluk said, affectionately rubbing my head like he often did when I was a child.

I hummed noncommittally, flashing him a tired smile.

"I mean it. You haven't been yourself this past month since you got back," he said as he backed out of my office. "We'll catch them. Rest."

I deserted my office, deciding to take Saluk's advice, and rest. I had been unnaturally tired this past month since I got back from my tour of the packs ... Since I rejected him.

I stepped into my room, its familiarity relaxing me. My parents tried to convince me to move into the South wing of the palace, the wing for the king and queen. But I couldn't bear it, knowing I would reside there alone.

I prepared a bath for myself, all while avoiding the mirror. I knew what I would see. Dark shadows smudged beneath my eyes, cheek bones that now seemed too pronounced in my gaunt face, and lips that remained pale despite how much I constantly bit down on them. Once the water was sufficiently scalding, I stepped out of my clothes, which have begun to hang limply off my frame as of late. I sat in the water, hissing through clenched teeth as it burned, instantly turning my skin pink. I scrubbed mechanically at my skin, staring blankly at the wall ahead of me.

I dropped my washcloth, startled by a knock at the door. "Yes?" I croaked.

"Will you be coming down for dinner, or would you like it brought up to you?" Eric asked through the door.

"I'm not hungry," I said, resuming my scrubbing. Food had begun to taste like ash ever since I got back to the palace.

"Selene," he sighed, his voice laced with concern. "You need to eat. Theo would want you to take care of yourself."

For a moment I sat stunned at the sound of his name. I had refused to utter it when I came back, referring to him only as the Alpha of Beartah. Hearing his name felt like a knife to the heart and sent me into an irrational blind rage.

I lurched from the tub, ignoring all the water I splashed onto the floor. Not bothering to dry off or even cover myself, I flung the door open, startling Eric. I bared my canines at my friend, his eyes widening in surprise. I could scent a bit of his fear in the air. "You have no right," I growled, prowling forward as he stepped back, my chest heaving with my quick breaths. "Do not speak his name. Do not tell me what he would or wouldn't want for me. Get out," I said pointing at the door, my claws descended.

"Selene," Eric whispered, refusing to meet my eye, exposing his throat to me. "I'm just worried about you. Everyone is. You haven't been the same since whatever happened between you two."

No one but my parents knew that I had rejected Theo. The situation too painful to repeat to anyone else. The wrongness of my choice too unnatural and disgraceful to be brought to light.

"Take your worry and shove it up your ass," I snarled. I marched back into the bathroom and slammed the door shut, the wall vibrating with the impact.

****

I rapped against Eric's door. It was well past midnight; the hallway was deserted except for the lone guard who stood at the end of the hall. I saw a light come on beneath the doorframe, there was a rustle of movement before the door cracked open.