I keep having dreams about
Babies.
It is strange, it is
The first time
I've thought of children in my mind without no
Fear.
Even if it was
Only in my sleep
Last night, I saw myself
Except I was just a baby
I knew it was me, yes
I knew.
Ever since Brooklyn, I've been
Noticing the years
Inside my fingertips
At the back of my bones,
I've got a little ache
I don't want a bandaid
Or a kiss
I don't want a baby,
I will try to
Shake them off.
Tiny hands
That's me with tiny hands
Sitting at a buddy bench
Waiting for the reasons why
I'm such a cry baby
16 years old
That's me at 16
The day I got my permit
I'm obsessed with the fact that that's the photo for me
That one, that's funny
That one feels like I'm
butt naked
And the only thing covering my crotch
is a bag of chips
I was high in a towel
Why did I look like that?
Why did I look like that?
I saw myself as a baby,
And I did not mind the view
When did my fingertips
Swell
Get so grotesque?
Oh, I
can't remember
what we were talking of
Oh god, this is too much
I hope so! Said the baby
Asking
What is she?
What is she doing?
I was sitting on the stoop outside
I was talking with
Girls who look like
They skipped the swelling stage.
Girls who
Think of babies
With a smile.
She was like,
I am so sorry but
I'm not deleting this.
She is not sorry
