What Does Depression Feel Like?

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It feels like a nightmare. I have no control of what's going on. There is no way out and it feels like no one cares. No matter what I do I'll never be good enough. I'll always be useless, not good enough, worthless, and hopeless. I am scared and lonely all the time. No matter what I'm doing or who I'm with the feelings are always there. It feels like an endless circle of guilt, pain, worthlessness, fear, and weakness. You feel like there is no point in trying anymore. It's an endless circle of failure.  You feel empty, like you're not really existing. You're breathing, but that doesn't mean you're alive. It's when it hurts to smile, hurts to laugh, hurts to breathe. Everything you do hurts, and there is no way to get away from it. No one understands what you're feeling. You're silent, but in reality you're screaming for help, but no one can save you. You're on your own for now.  Everything you do makes you tired. Things you used to do, don't bring you comfort anymore. The only thing that might give you relief is a cold blade, the taste of alcohol, or the smell of drugs. People will try to take those things away from you, but you don't let them.  They don't understand what it's like living with depression. It's your throat tightening up with each sob as you cry making it harder and harder to breathe. Its hoping that every night you won't wake up, that the pain will finally stop, even though you know it won't. It's always lying when someone asks "How're you?" Its always feeling tired even if you got ten hours of sleep. It's feeling so weak, every muscle in your body aching. Depression is all of those things and so much more. It's unexplainable. Only you know what your depression feels like. You know how horrible it is. You know it feels like it will never end. But do you know what? You're not alone in this.

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