Colette woke up the next morning holding a bone to pick with the world around her. To say she was frustrated would be an understatement- and to pinpoint why would be wildly difficult for the poor people she worked with.
She complained about work enough for those around her to understand her usual dampened mood- yet she was unusually agitated that day, as if there were a chip on her shoulder for every person that ever annoyed her.
When she got to work she went straight to her office- focusing on the mountain of paperwork she had to sort through upon Dani's transfer. As she shuffled through it and signed where her signature was needed- she attempted to take that time to regain her composure. But her muscles ached and her head throbbed. She was furious. And she didn't want to admit why.
As she signed away, images of Vivian's lips and hands caressing her skin flashed teasingly through her mind. The scenery was torturous and a true test to her resilience. Her frustration was fueled by the boiling lust that burned itself into her mind. Being so worked up over a lack of sexual stimulation was something she had the decency to be ashamed of. But her self awareness did little to help her mood.
She was nearing the end of her stack when there was a soft knock on her door. Before she responded she took a deep breath and sat the pen down as gently as she could muster.
"Come in." She called out.
In walked Dani, holding a small manilla folder and a cup of coffee from the cafeteria.
"I brought you the documents you asked for- and also a cup of coffee. Dr. Dennis told me you needed some."
"Sounds like something her dumb ass would say." Colette muttered before she could catch herself.
Dani seemed shocked by her words but didn't say anything in response. A sigh left Colette's lips and she raised her hand apologetically- shaking her head at her lack of grace.
"Sorry, that was inappropriate. Thank you for the coffee, Dani." She said with a small grin.
Dani nodded and sat the items down on Colette's desk. "I hope it's not my transfer that's causing you so much stress. If there's anything I can do to help I-.."
Colette shook her head, "It's not your fault. The paperwork is not ideal no, but I am truthfully very tired and very hungry. Don't blame yourself for my lack of self care. Once I finish this coffee, you won't have reason to worry."
Dani smiled then, "Okay Ms. Colette, I'll leave you to it."
The young woman left the room without another word- leaving Colette to her thoughts once again. She stopped for a moment and picked up the paper cup before bringing it up to her lips. Coffee wouldn't relieve her of her frustrations but it would clear her head enough for her to think clearly.
She knew that in actuality it was not just about sex. It was her brain acting on its instinct and trying to push her to do the same. No matter how hard she tried to ignore her feelings towards Vivian- they would always prevail over her. She was in no position to deny herself when every fiber of her being wanted to give in to what she loosely condemned.
The logical parts of her mind wanted to take things slow- but every other faction begged her to just give in to her instincts. She despised the tradition of dating fast and marrying quicker- but those traditions were made with reason. The more she denied herself the quicker she came to that realization.
But she was frightened by it. Her whole life she had seen her mother's exhibit the most perfect love story anyone could ask for. They met in college and married after after years of loving each other. Not a moment went by where they weren't together- where their love went untold. Seeing such perfection made her want the same for herself- and it made her hopeless in her pursuit of romance.
