Sometimes he makes me feel like I'm not part of his family. He never texts me, he never posts me, he never calls me either. He always posts "family🩷" or "hanging with the fam." And shows a photo of him, his dad, his stepmom, and step brother. Am I not your family? Am I not your sister? Is our brother just my brother now? Is our mom just my mom now? I just really miss you. I wish you never moved away. You were one of my only real friends. You were one of my best friends. Now you're going off to college to be a functioning member of society. Meanwhile I'm sitting in the closet getting drunk and smoking cannabis. It numbs the pain of missing you and whatever else is going on in my boring, stupid, depressing life. But what's weird is that I'm not even mad at you. It's so hard to be mad at someone who I looked up to my whole life. You didn't even post the photos of us at the zoo, yet I'm not mad at you. You left 3 days before Christmas, yet I'm not mad at you. You forgot to even tell me "merry Christmas!", yet I'm not mad at you. You forgot to tell me "happy birthday!" Or even text me, yet I'm not mad at you. You made me waste so many tears, yet I'm not mad at you. I just miss you so fucking much and it hurts how you don't even acknowledge me anymore as much as you used to. I never forgot that time you cried because I didn't think I was pretty just to prove a point that I am...
I miss you so much. Please don't become another memory in the back of my head.
