Dead End - BokuAka//Oneshot

Dead End

This fic is inspired by Ilomilo by Billie Eillish

AtlasCxt <3
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Akaashi's Pov /◇

"Should I fight the fear or let the fear win?"

The question has always been on my mind and it wasn't until recently I decided to search for the awnser. About a month ago I started going to therapy, hoping this would have the awnsers to my many mental questions. A few have been awnsered but others haven't been. The days have been cloudy, mostly rain and droopy clouds.
"Depends on the type of fear you are dealing with, Keiji. Is this fear more of a mental thing or something that can be personified?"

I've been told. It wasn't the hardest thing to awnser but I didn't enjoy the fact my therapist returned my question with another.

"It is a mental thing."

"I see. Well, if it a mental fear, then that is what I'm here for. You are not alone in this, Keiji. I will be here with you every step of the way."

I left her office that day questioning myself even more. She kept bringing up questions that led to more awnsers and even more possibilities.

My past relationships have always been a test. A test to myself whether or not who was my type or if I was looking for something specific, or someone. I've seen him at the corner of my eye when roaming the halls of school but he never seemed to look my way, nor notice. I've realized through those past relationships that I hated the idea of being with someone but also the idea of being alone.

To cope with this, I've pretend to be with him. Although, I never did actually have the courage to talk to him. I never found myself willing enough to do so. It cought me off gaurd when he was the one ti speak to me first.

"Keiji!! Right? I've seen you around before and you've always seemed alone... is everything alright!?"

My body tensed as he presence wasn't in the norm for my every day schedule.

"It's just Akaashi, thank you,"

I spoke quietly, my gaze drifting off ward.

"Everything is okay.."

"Why don't you come sit with me and my group today!? So you won't be alone. If you grow to like being around us, no need to fret! You can sit with us whenever you'd like too!"

How loud this guy was. I didn't mind as much others would. His smile broke through the social barrier i had set from day one. My body loosened as I exhaled a long, held-in breath.

"That doesn't sound too bad, thank you."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, walking me along his side. From my perspective, he seemed like a great guy possible of endless capabilities. I like this. Maybe I wouldn't be alone anymore. And it wouldn't even be because i asked someone to stay by my side. They came to me instead.

I happend to have a few classes with him and many common interests shared. Within the next week, people could he heard whispering about how close we had become in such short time. I took pride in this. I haven't been to therapy since. I've even gotten a few calls and messages here and there from her. I felt slightly bad for not telling her what was happening but some things are better left unsaid.

"Bokuto! Where are you?! We have early practice today?!"

I found out he was the captain of the volleyball team and so much so he even talked me into joining the team. I went to the tryouts and took place of their starter setter. During that morning practice, I saw just how amazing he was at the sport. He looked so esthetic when he got into the zone. There was, of course, those moments where he would completely shut down. It wasn't that bad though, a few compliments and words of praise and he was back and bouncy.