Sweet Nemesis

Chapter 21

#OLASweetNemesis

Chapter 21
Breakfast

"I'm sorry, Nikko..." I took a deep breath, feeling guilty for turning down such a great man. "I enjoy your company, and I love having dates to get to know you more, but my heart is not in it for anything serious yet."

I clenched my fist as I had to lie a bit.

The truth is, my heart is ready. I'm prepared to enter a relationship, but not with another man. Unfortunately, it has to be with someone who makes me feel invalidated and insecure... someone who doesn't love me back... someone who's in love with another woman.

"You don't have to apologize," he quietly said. "I didn't say this to make you feel pressured. I don't need answers. I just want you to know that I see you as someone special... Well, I could be wrong, but I feel like you need to hear that."

Upon hearing his words, I couldn't help but curse my choices. I hated myself for choosing the rough road when someone was willing to take my hand and walk with me on a flowery path. Why have I turned away from something so beautiful and pure? Why is it so hard for me to let go of what's hurting me?

But I guess, sometimes, it's a thing for humans to get curious and lured into the darkness, then look for light or a way to escape after realizing they have made the wrong choice. Kailangan masaktan muna nang todo at tuluyang mapagod bago sumuko. We loved the idea of exhausting our energy and giving our 100 percent until there's nothing left for us. It's the only way we can convince ourselves that we did everything we could and raised the white flag without regrets... even if we'd end up losing ourselves.

Sana hindi na lang ganoon. I wish I knew how to give up first thing the moment I was certain that I'd be screwed in the end.

"Thank you, Nikko..." I breathed and smiled at him. "You're right. I really needed to hear that."

Ngumiti pabalik si Nikko. It was very reassuring. Everything about him was reassuring.

Natuloy kami sa paglalakad habang umiinom ng iced coffee. We had to make it quick, though, because it was scorching hot. I'm not fit to stay in hot places. Pawisin ako.

Kaya nagpahatid na rin ako pauwi pagkatapos nang sandaliang stroll sa park. I felt so sticky. I couldn't stand seeing myself in the mirror, looking haggard.

"Thanks for today, Nikko. I'll make it up to you next time," sabi ko habang tinatanggal ang seatbelt.

"Just be happy. That's all I want from you," he said, very wholesome.

Tipid na ngiti lamang ang naisukli ko sa kanya dahil hindi ko na alam kung ano ang dapat o tamang sabihin.

Kumaway ako kay Nikko pagkababa ng sasakyan at pinauna na siyang umalis. As soon as he was out of sight, another car approached right in front.

I wasn't sure if it was because of the heat that I didn't have the energy to fight him, or if I might just be feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted. Masyado akong madaming inisip mula pa lang sa coffee shop hanggang sa huling sandaling magkasama kami ni Nikko. Hindi ko na kayang magtaray pa kahit na bumaba sa sasakyan si Keno.

"Were you following us?"Kalmado kong tanong kahit na obvious naman.

It wasn't a coincidence na kasunod namin siya agad umuwi. Siguro ay pinauna niya lang kami nang konti kanina, pero agad din siyang umalis para sundan kami. He just really wouldn't let me go on a date with Nikko alone. Lagi siyang nagmamasid sa paligid.

"Yes." He didn't think of concealing his actions and went straight to telling me the truth.

"I told you to stay at the cafe. You didn't have to follow us."