Love Me, Mikayla

XXXIX

MIKAYLA

. . .

The very day the Dawoods decided to throw a party.

There was no limit to their happiness after knowing that I was pregnant. The whole family is happy, not only for the child but for me too.

The day I got this news, Barak's mother also met me and told me how great and peaceful the joy of becoming a mother is. Even if it brings pain, that pain also disappears in comparison to the happiness to come. Is it really so?

I don't doubt his mother's words. She is the mother of four children, her enjoyment of this must have given her these words as well. Perhaps the joy of becoming a mother is truly beyond words. This is exactly what my mother also told me when she came to meet me after hearing this good news.

I believe that this peace is very big, and this happiness is really very beautiful because when I came to know that I was pregnant, only I knew the feeling of joy in my heart — the way it leaped — and maybe His God, too.

But my hatred for Barak isn't letting me see otherwise.

This hatred is just increasing in me and I am not able to get it out. It's better to stay away from him while I have the chance. I am not even able to understand his love, I don't know how my eyes have been shut. It's only a matter of a few months and then I can separate from him. I know he will not go back on his words and will let go of me.

"You have asked it really?" Julia gasps, shaking her head in regret for me. "That's so bad!"

I roll my eyes. Has she come to show her regret upon the news that I tell her? What was she getting from our stupid relationship?

"What's so bad? I don't like him. I can leave him peacefully after delivering this child," I murmur, looking down at my plate loaded with food and it is served by him.

Now he is gone.

Being a possessive partner of his, I am well aware of his presence. He is once again with some of his friends and there are a few women, too. One of them is Mahira.

Surprisingly she got promoted to his personal secretary, attacking Sylvia's position as she served Barak before Mahira. Don't know what caused this, but I don't like to see her with him.

Julia sighs. "Mikayla, can't you see how blessed are you? You have a good husband and now you're going to be a mother. Your family is also nice and everybody loves you, and still you're willing to walk away by trampling this blessing?"

I frown. Does she too think that I'm someone who enjoys trampling emotions? "I'm not fond of doing this, Jules, but I can't even sit peacefully when things don't go my way!" She thinks so, maybe that's why I'm like this.

She blinks, shaking her head in denial. "Have you ever considered your ways?" she asks, narrowing her eyes at me through the darkness.

"What do you mean?"

"You seek to destroy yourself and when someone tries to save you; correct you, you hurt them. Just for a fleeting moment; pleasure that won't last long; something that looks good from the outside but from inside, it's like a tomb of a dead person — you run after that, you know that, don't you?"

Music starts playing in the background, powering over the murmurs of elegant chatters of the people behind me.

I don't speak in the middle, falling silent when she brings out reality. What more can I explain about it?

"But when God tries to correct you, when He tries to change your rotten and thorny path into a beautiful destination — of which you can't even think — you don't like His interference!"