ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ʙᴜᴛʟᴇʀ: Book of Mystery

12 "Midnight Tea"

How stupid. Covered in scratches, wet from the rain, I stand in front of the London estate of Count Ciel Phantomhive. I just started to catch his eye, as if his attitude towards me began to change, and then this situation happened.

Madame, who looked at me in a special way and with her gaze made it clear that she could listen at any moment... She died, she was killed, but I could have tried to save her.

No, throw away these thoughts, you didn't know the address from the beginning, and you made it worse for yourself when you ran to God knows where in such weather. There was practically no chance that I could save Madame.

I stood in utter darkness, under an icy rain, with only the faint light from the mansion's windows dimly illuminating a few bushes by the entrance. The raindrops reflected in the window panes, sparkling like tiny stars, then shattered on the wet tiles of the path to the mansion.

The young earl's words echoed in my head, bouncing off my skull over and over again. They reminded me that I was failing to navigate this world, that my existence here was pointless and would remain so. These words reminded me of the most important thing: that I had been rejected by the most important people in this world, and that I had nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. My depressive mood had persisted since my arrival here. How could I return? "I want to go home."

Here, I have no home, no acquaintances, no friends, no family, no one and nothing. I wanted to escape the harsh reality. Not knowing what to do while being within the mansion's grounds, I had only one and the easiest way out. Out of despair, I closed my eyes. The pain in my chest lasted quite a while, growing into unbearable agony with each heartbeat, tears streaming down my face. This salty water made it hard for me to even breathe.

I didn't make it. How could I think it would work? That I could find this place? Why did I have these thoughts in my head? I have no idea how I will live the rest of my life. Where should I go?

Ciel is at home, Sebastian is with him, and I stood in front of their mansion, in the rain, all wet, in the mud... Maybe he doesn't even intend to return the things he bought for me? How do I look? Miserable.

Ten minutes passed and the door opened, and seeing a stronger light, I ran to the doors, expecting something. Sebastian peeked out; he couldn't have just opened the door for no reason, could he?

"Here are your things, miss," Sebastian placed a small suitcase next to me. "It's raining now, so..." The butler handed me a black umbrella, as if I was about to spend the rest of my life in a cemetery.

I took it sadly in my hands, along with the suitcase. I need to go, right? Exactly, I was thrown out... like a dog.

"You've been through quite a lot..."

"Why is he staring at me so intently? Is he expecting some sort of response?"

"Are you...," I blurted out, not knowing the meaning of these words, wondering about the demon's piercing gaze, but I couldn't ask anything, as if my tongue had been cut off.

"I can't help you with anything," Sebastian replied with a look full of feigned regret.

"Hah, I know, demon," I said with a pained smile. "I guess it's time to go, right..."

"It's a pity, I would have observed you longer, but the master does not wish it," Sebastian closed his eyes and touched his chin.

— Yes, — and he closed the door right in front of my face. It hurt... so much.

"The feeling of heat in my throat and weakness in my hands didn't leave me."

It's the middle of the night now, and I still haven't left; I stood in front of the gates with the umbrella, not knowing where to go... Maybe to the Undertaker? But he won't take me in; he doesn't know me and isn't inclined to let a random passerby into his home. Oh, right, he has other enticing matters regarding the elder brother.