To Want and Not To Have - NanaGo

Chapter 3

It is with some trepidation that Nanami goes back to work as usual Monday morning.

He doesn't change his routine. He gets up at five to go for a run followed by a quick visit to the gym. Then, after showering and having his breakfast, he checks the overnight news and global market updates. He reviews reports, financial news, and economic data releases. Numbers and information fill his brain, forcing everything else out.

It's only as he leaves his apartment, locking the door behind him, his laptop bag slung over his shoulder, that the memories of the weekend start playing again. He keeps them at bay for the moment as he walks briskly to the nearest metro station.

It's only when he's seated that he allows himself to dwell on the past two days.

He pulls his mobile out of his pocket to, once again, browse through the pictures Gojo and he took of their engagement .

The botanical garden hadn't been at its most beautiful this late in the winter. Most of the flowers had still been hibernating, but Gojo had nonetheless managed to find a few great spots. The resulting photos are, for a lack of a better word, breathtaking.

Nanami scowls at himself for thinking that. The photos are probably nothing to write home about, but his heart trips over itself every time he looks at them. Gojo had asked every passerby at the botanical garden to take a photo of him and his fiancé. Those pictures are a lot better than if they'd contented themselves with selfies.

And though they don't look very professional, there's still a haunting beauty to them. Probably, it's because Gojo is just so damn gorgeous. Effortlessly, like a model, he just stands there beside a stiff-looking Nanami, somehow managing to put to shame the greenery around them. His smile is always radiant, his blue eyes otherworldly in their brightness. He'd chosen to wear semi-casual clothes in dark colours, and the relaxed set of his shoulders gives the impression that he's utterly at ease with Nanami.

Nanami, well, he's not at ease. He stands stiffly in most of the pictures, his light suit at least a nice contrast to the darker hues of Gojo's clothes. His face is expressionless, the corners of his mouth turned down as if in disapproval. Shadows rim his brown eyes - glaring proof that he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep the night before. His anxiety seems to ooze out of the pictures.

His boss is never going to believe he's engaged, Nanami is sure of it. The pictures scream fraud . Nanami and Gojo don't even appear to be on friendly terms, how would anyone believe they're fiancés a few months away from their wedding? Nanami has almost resigned himself to being sacked today – he can only hope his boss won't be too pissed at him for his lie to write him a letter of recommendation.

Still, despite the bleakness of the day ahead, Nanami can't help looking at the pictures and remembering the afternoon.

It had been a tiny bit awkward at first, mostly because he hadn't slept and had been dreading the upcoming time at the garden. He'd been sure Gojo wouldn't show up, either because he'd been called away for work or simply because he grew tired of the game. Then, he'd been pissed because Gojo had showed up half an hour late, arriving flushed and out of breath and laughing loudly enough to attract attention.

After that, Gojo had managed to ease the tension. He had laced his arm through Nanami's, apparently uncaring that they didn't have to pretend for the eyes of fellow visitors. Nanami hadn't insisted much to be let go; the heat between their close bodies had felt nice, and he had liked having Gojo so close. They had toured the gardens arm in arm, Gojo doing most of the talking and commenting, until Nanami found himself enjoying the afternoon a little. Though it had been cold, the sun had shone bright, bathing the gardens in radiant light.