The Secret Stories of The Agency (A Bungo Stray Dogs Tale)

Chapter Two: The Post-Incident Report

Yosano walked back to where she left the others, the corpse of the dead suspect heavy on her shoulders. One of the agency's cars had just pulled in to collect everyone. Kunikida and Dazai got out. Kunikida seemed to be in an intense confrontation with Dazai. "I told you! I am not going to allow you to drive this vehicle!" "Why not," Dazai whined, "I'm a perfectly decent driver." "Because," retorted Kunikida, "I am not going to pay for a new agency car when you inevitably crash it in one of your stupid, suicidal shenanigans! And speaking of unnecessary expenses," he turned on Atsushi, who jumped from surprise, "Do you have any idea how expensive a government-grade earpiece communicator is?!" Atsushi blushed.  "I-It's not my fault!" Atsushi stammered, "Dazai wouldn't shut up, and I had to concentrate. There were innocent bystanders I had to take care of." "No one is blaming for that Atsushi," Kunikida interjected, "but...uh." "You seem to be proudly presenting at the moment, kid," Dazai giggled. Atsushi looked down to see that his pants were hanging together by shreds. The sign that had briefly crippled him had also torn his pants in such a way that he now was showing off his cat paw boxers underneath. Atsushi gave a short squeak of mixed embarrassment and surprise and sprinted into the car among the laughter of his colleagues. The laughter, however, quickly died when the group saw what Yosano had slung over her shoulder. " We need to get back to the office," she said, opening trunk. "Also, isn't cat paw underwear a bit on the nose for you, Atsushi?"

The group returned to the office with little incident. Of course, it was difficult carrying the dead body up the stairs, and Atsushi refused to leave the car until someone ran to his dormitory to get him a new pair of pants. This person ended up being Dazai, who promptly returned with Atsushi's pajama pants, saying those were the only pair of pants which were clean (no one believed him.) After about an hour of waiting for Yosano to be done with the autopsy of the man's body, she emerged from the surgery room and called everyone to the conference room to explain her findings to everyone. This included Atsushi, Dazai, Kunikida, Kenji, Ranpo, the Tanizaki siblings Juni'chiro and Naomi, and herself. President Fukuzawa and Kyoka were not present. The President had decided to reward her with a late night crepe run for helping with a case. Everyone had decided that the grandfather-granddaughter complex that was created to hide Kyoka from the authorities was really getting out of hand. Yosano began the meeting by explaining her interaction with the young man. His attempt to take the stolen jewelry, his apprehending by Yosano, and his subsequent death after a piece of the monster had gotten in his mouth and suffocated him despite her attempts to save him. "My ability can heal any damages to the body, even if the person is an inch from death, however, if the thing that is killing the person is some external force that needs to be removed, I can't help." she paused for a second, "when I performed the autopsy, I took a special interest in his trachea and alveoli." "His what?" Atsushi asked. He and Tanizaki were looking at her confused. Kenji didn't change his smile, but cocked his head in inquiry. Dazai leaned in his chair, but it was easy to determine his cluelessness as well by the way he averted his face. Yosano groaned, "Throat and lungs." Understanding flooded back to the group much to her great annoyance. "Anyways, my autopsy confirmed that the piece of the creature had gotten in his throat, expanded, and then calcified." Cluelessness once more returned to some of the group. "It got in his throat and hardened, causing him to suffocate and die! Are you guys idiots!?" Yosano exploded. "I would like to point out," said Atsushi, "that some of us did not receive formal schooling." "Alright listen," Kunikida said, "let's refocus on the this case. A being of unknown strength and power attacked a shopping district and was only brought done with immense effort by the agency. What I think is interesting is the fact that such small time crooks were using them. You would think something like that would only be used by high paying mafia bosses as a last resort, their trump card." "Maybe it was a test run." said Atsushi "My thoughts exactly." said Kunikida, "but if something like can be used as an expendable test run dummy, what can the real thing do. Ranpo, you're up." "I was wondering when you guys would eventually fall on me for my help." Ranpo whined, "I shall assist my colleagues I guess." Ranpo reached inside his vest pocket and pulled out his glasses, which he put on with much show. The group sat and waited for Ranpo to come to his verdict. After forty-five seconds, Ranpo finally spoke. "I believe we must first find a way to easily combat these creatures. From there we will be able to make a better plan of attack." "Does that mean you don't know what's happening, and how to stop to stop it?" Juni'chiro said with a worried look in his face. "Of course I know what to do, moron," Ranpo shot back at him, "this is just the first step. Dazai," Ranpo turned to Dazai to had a face which seemed to have guessed that he would be brought up in this eventually. "I'm guessing you might have some connections that could help us." "Yes, I believe I do, but," Dazai said with a smirk, "he is not going to be happy about seeing me again."