Game of Thrones Imagines/Oneshots

III. Sandor Clegane (A?)

Part one of two

Summary; Y/n Stark experiences survivors guilt from the red wedding, and all she has left is Arya and the Hound

Days of continuous riding had caused my thighs to chafe, and the chafing was starting to turn into a large cluster of blisters. I didn't have the time or privacy to check what had been going on beneath my skirt, so all I could do was guess how much damage was being done. I knew it was bleeding by the way my thighs had started to stick together painfully. Another day of this and the blisters would pop, but what to do? We can't stop moving, and there's no way Sandor would be willing to take a break.

The saddle was far too crowded for comfort, and Arya was nearly forced onto my lap. To my dismay, I was squeezed between Arya and Sandor. It was unpleasant for all three of us, and I silently cursed myself for refusing to learn how to ride a horse when I was younger. As a child, I was too unsettled by their anatomy and size to even go near one. It feels silly now that I'm older, now that I've witnessed the horrors that I have. Horses were just innocent animals, unlike that of men.

The sun was setting over the tree line, casting long shadows around us. We would have to stop moving soon, lest we have another shadowcat encounter. Sandor must have been thinking the same thing, because he guided his horse off the beaten path and further into the woods. I wanted to groan in frustration. This was the third night in a row that we would be sleeping in the woods rather than some inn. He was insistent that we don't stop moving until we absolutely have to, and by that time comes we are usually too far from any village. It was starting to become tiresome. 

"We'll rest here." He announced, pulling back at Stranger's reigns, causing the horse to come to an abrupt halt. I was just thankful that we were done traveling for today. I was exhausted from the hours spent pressed between Arya and Sandor.

Arya was the first to slide off the saddle. Sandor graciously offered his hand to me, and I accepted it. He helped me carefully dismount his horse, that way I wouldn't damage my dress any further than it already had been. I was thankful he was willing to treat me with some respect, though I do recognize that it's mostly for Arya's sake.

The clearing he chose was pleasant enough; far enough from the path that we wouldn't be noticed by any passerby's, yet close enough that we wouldn't be able to get lost. It was actually quite cozy compared to previous few nights. More private. Secluded. 

Sandor had made a fire for the three of us to sit around. Arya had long since fallen asleep on the cold forest floor next to me. I don't know how she could sleep so easily in these conditions. I was always too on edge to get a decent nights rest, scared of what may be watching us from the woods. There were always sounds coming from the tree line. Twigs would snap, leaves would crunch beneath tiny foot steps, and the occasional scream from the foxes could be heard. It was enough to keep me on edge for the entire night.

Sometimes, if I went a few nights without sleeping, I would usually get one really good night of sleep. I'd be too exhausted to care about the animals, and I would be too exhausted to care about the night terrors. It was a rare treat to have a dream that didn't involve the corpse of my brother being paraded around by the Boltons. I think about that often.  Too often. 

I wanted to go back to that day and scream at myself to stay in that room. To face the consequence for my brother's actions alongside my mother. It would have been a kinder fate than this. A fate where I was forced to go on living, knowing what happened to them that night. While I was swapping spit with some server girl. Part of me wanted to tell myself that this was a blessing from the seven, though it didn't feel that way. This was no blessing; this was a fucking curse. This was no blessing from the seven, there is no blessing where you're forced to continue living when everyone you cared about keeps dying or betraying you. A life of betrayal and disappointment, a life I wouldn't be forced to live if I had just stayed in that room. But alas, we can't always have our way.