monogurui - maeda riku

i.

⎚

It's Thursday morning, and Hikari Ishikawa is dead. What happened after was all blurry for Riku, who now stood in the corner while still trying to make sense of it. He dropped the bouquet he was holding as a series of cries echoed through the cold halls of the hospital, yet still, he didn't want to believe it. Hikari is dead. His best friend... is now dead.

Even after repeating the word "dead" in his mind, it still didn't make any sense. Hikari was alive yesterday and she was even smiling. How could this happen? Everything felt like a blurry motion in a movie as Riku processed everything. He saw Hikari's mother crying in the corner, knees on the floor, while Hikari's older brother was trying to lift her up.

He couldn't face it. Suddenly, everything felt like a lie. Hikari is not dead. Hikari will never be a "was". Hikari is, and still forever his best friend.

But then the funeral came, and as Riku stood staring at the open casket, he already knew that his best friend was no longer with him. Her face lay solemn on the casket, yet it was still the same. Her pale face and closed eyes almost looked like she was just sleeping. Riku even waited for her to get up and say "Let's race, Ri!" but she didn't. Her eyes were still closed.

Funny thing is, Riku still refused to acknowledge it. Even after facing the truth, he refused to believe that Hikari wouldn't wake up anymore. That there wouldn't be a Hikari who liked to annoy him every day, who would trade vegetables with him, and a Hikari who was competitive in racing up the hill with their bikes anymore. All of these became memories.

"Riku, let's go," Riku's mother held his arm gently, as if Riku was a fragile glass that was close to breaking, and she was afraid to see him crumble like pieces of glass on the floor.

Riku hadn't shown any emotion ever since then. His once warm eyes were now as cold as winter. Everyone knew that the other part of him died together with Hikari, because she was his other part... and they would always complete each other.

Riku went inside the car, staring blankly out the window as the car drove. He hadn't been in school for days now, and everyone—including their friends—probably knew about what happened too. Riku was obviously afraid to face them, because that would mean facing the truth. Receiving condolences would be like slapping his face multiple times until it went numb.

"Wake up now, Hikari," he whispered under his breath as the car drove past the park where they used to play as kids. But only the cold wind heard his whisper as it blew a few hair strands across his forehead.

"Please."